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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. On our one year anniversary, I made him a photobook of our past year together and gave him a card. He didn't get me anything. I wasn't bothered by this - should I be? We have a long distance relationship as he lives 4.5 hours away. We are planning to get married in 2008 even though he hasn't proposed yet - we've been looking for restaurants and halls for the ceremony/dinner. Is it silly to go through all of this even if he hasn't formally proposed yet? Currently by what we're doing, you would think he's proposed already. He said the reason he didn't propose on our one year anniversary is because he doesn't have a plan yet for his job. We are both ready to get married and I trust him, but a little part of me is bothered that he hasn't proposed yet and yet I am putting all this effort into wedding planning....am I just overthinking things? Does proposal really matter?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): Hmmm...I have to disagree with the first girl a bit. I have been in many relationships with men who coudn't be bothered to give anything for Xmas or birthdays. Then I kept wondering why things weren't working out with them. It's simple: if they care, they will put the effort forth, even if it's handmade, or just a card. If they can't be bothered, then, run, run far away. It's just a symptom of a bigger issue. I've also been married and I was engaged once prior to that. My ex-husband professed to love me so much, and never bought me a birthday or xmas present...and because I am not materialistic, I didn't care.
Then I found out that he was a liar and a cheat.
My current love is frugal with money, but, he always finds a way to give me something thoughtful and loving.
I would question this man's motives, especially since there was no formal asking. I went through two engagements with no formal asking. After much planning, thre was no weddings. Sorry to be a downer.
A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 First off, yo dont really need a propsal, you have an agreement already, I think you just want a ring lol.
Second, you are making all the plans together for a wedding, I dont think you should worry too much.
and third. A friend of mine over in the us, has been dating a girl for 9 years, they had an agreement they would marry when he gets a good job and an appartment of his own, rather than living in his mums house. they made this agreement when they were in there 14th month of dating!
Now he has just got a great job, and is renting an apartment near to his work, Literally, just 2 months ago!
Now his girlfriend has waited patiently all this time, though she has had a lot of fears he would never come through, Now its been two months since he moved n, she still isnt living with him, because she wont till they marry, but she is wondering when he will propose, when will she ge the ring???
Now I hppen to know he has had one specially made for her, and is making the last payment 2 days befoe xmas, wen he collects it. The proposal is going to be sooo special on xmas morning!
So I dont see why yours wouldnt be going the same way, he wants to get his career going before making the comitments you desire, but he DOES want to marry you.
I hope that has helped to ease your mind a little.
Take care hun xxxxxxxxx
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