| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 23, my husband is 25.I found out he was having an affair with a 63-year-old woman who lives down the road with us after a friend who worked at a hotel told me he'd seen my husband kissing an old woman in the restaurant.I feel disgusted and sick. I also have a young son by this man too.Even worse, I find out this affair had been going on since our engagement 4 years ago!!!What do I do about the situation?? I feel stressed-out, sick, disgusted, jaded, annoyed, I just need help.Traceyxxx
View related questions:
affair, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2005): Hun, if it's been 4 years, it's time to really rethink your marriage and just let go. You should be pissed off and with darn good reason! I can only imagine the pain you must feel. You seem very focused on this woman's age. Dear, what does that matter now? Many men choose much older mistresses for whatever reasons. Hun, adultry is adultry. It's cruel and it's heartless and almost always, the one whose spouse is unfaithful, experiences a sudden, overwhelming loss of self-confidence. You likely have asked yourself-what's wrong with me? Why would my husband do this to me and our family? Perhaps the most important task you have in the wake of your husband's affair is to convince yourself, first in your head and later even in your gut, that this is not about you. It's about your husband. It's your husband who has made the decision to commit adultery. It's not a problem you can, should, or will ever solve.
Time to start looking after you and your son and your futures. You need to get prepared for what might come and that could be a tough divorce battle. Check with a lawyer about legal advice and getting a divorce based on your husband's adultery. He will better advise you on how aggressively you want to gather information about the affair. Take your emotions out of this and start writing a journal and keeping track of all you can and what you know about his affair.
I have to say, how sorry I am this has happened to you, and your son. I sincerely wish you the best in what is to come. Be strong and take a stand for the rights of you and your son. Don't allow him to get away with this. Best of luck and take care.
Hugs,
Irish
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 October 2005):
 Always the question that needs to be asked is, "Am I better off with him or without him?". Which ever you decide remember that your son will be just fine if YOU are happy.
...............................
A
reader, pops +, writes (7 October 2005):
See a marriage counselor, so that you can get help in deciding how to confront your husband with this new information. Have you confirmed the affair? You didn't say what your source was for the details. Assuming that you did, you either have to work this out with him to save the marriage, or leave him. No one can tell you what to do. Before ending this marriage, you might ask him " why?" Is it just sex, or is their some emotional need she fulfills that you can't? Kissing a woman is not " having an affair", so you have left us on thin ice to be advising you. Talk to your solicitor, or a lawyer about a separation or divorce. Kids are always the losers in this, so if there is anyway your husband values your marriage enough to end his affair, and put more effort into loving you, and your child, it might be worth all the effort. Kids need to grow up seeing their parents be in love with each other, and watch how they interact, display trust, loyalty, and faithfulness to each other. You are your child's best role models. Don't take that from him unless your husband leaves you no choice.
...............................
|
