A
female
age
41-50,
*renke
writes:My husband is not interested in sex with me, no matter what I do, and, believe me, I have tried everything. He prefers unusual porn sites (women trampling men, women smothering men) and I have offered to do these things to him but he says he does not like these things; he just looks at these sites out of curiousity. I am beginning to feel old and very rejected. He falls asleep while I touch him.
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not interested in sex, porn Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): My heart goes out to you. And thanks to DoubleM for his response--we need more men to take this stance.
I hate to advise people to leave a relationship, but I would advise that you lovingly insist he see a specialist in this field. You can accompany him if the specialist thinks this would be helpful. If your husband refuses or goes and then repeatedly relapses, then I'd advise you to separate and move on. Otherwise, the feelings of rejection can take a very strong hold on you and be that much harder to shake. You've got your own life to live.
A
female
reader, thinky  +, writes (17 September 2008):
Sorry to hear... It might be helpful to try to have a through chat with him and explain your feelings. Just telling you that he's "curious" isn't really helpful to you. Presumably anyone who looks at porn does so out of curiousity.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM + ♥, writes (1 September 2008):
 Although I firmly support and agree with the freedom of expression in America and most of the Western World, pornography is insidious and addictive. Under certain circumstances, it can change relationships and alter a person's behavior. This is possibly his problem, but you should certainly not allow this to make you "feel old and very rejected." The circumstances could drive you into depression. Psychological counseling may be the best next step. Please consider the option before the situation worsens. Best wishes to you.
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A
female
reader, Befuddled1 +, writes (31 August 2008):
 I'm going through the same thing....you are not alone. Look at my column and the advice I have received.Good luck x
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