A
female
age
41-50,
*anting him back
writes:ok, I wrote a couple of months ago and said that my husband of 13 years left me for another woman. blah blah blah, for about a month he would promise I was what he wanted he just needed time for us to get along befor he came home and every time I would find out that he was still talking and seeing the other woman. Everytime he would promise not to do it again, then he came home for about a week, I thought for sure it would stop and I found his phone with texts on it. so I told him to leave. that weekend I accepted a date, first one in three months I was totally waiting on him. He went nuts, and came running back. this time doing everything right, but I could not trust him and we argued alot. so now he is gone again bc I could not stop bringing things up andquestioning him. he says that I should trust him. am I wrong for having doubts, is he quilty still? Should I let him go? so this is where we stand, he says that we need a few days to cool off and get along and well go from there. I feel as if we are back to square one. what should I do???
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 October 2008):
Well if you want him back and you are willing to forgive him lying and cheating on you then you have to do just that...
Forgive him.
Then you have to trust him, but he has to make this easier for you by being open and letting you know what is going on with his life so you know he's not seeing her.
If he cocks up and sees / talks to her again then you may have to accept that he's just not worth having. Or you can forgive him again and keep trying, but that puts you in danger of just getting used and used.
At some point you'll have to kick him out if he keeps doing it. But if you want to give him a chance, then give him a fair one.
Good Luck!! xx
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