A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid;I will try to keep this pretty short. Im pretty sure I am overly jealous here, but I dont quite know how to press this situation. My girlfriend and I have recently been dealing with some trust issues. Issues on her part for hiding contact with her ex throughout our relationship, and issues on my part for chatting online with another girl. We have discussed and have come to the conclusion we were both wrong for this. We have since both started making adjustments. We have been working on building up trust, and getting each other back to a stable part of our relationship.My gf recently started back at school. She has been in school for a whole week now.Last night we were laying down on the futon and I had my feet over the edge resting gently on her purse. Suddenly it began to vibrate, I told her I think her phone is ringing and handed her purse to her. She then pulled it out and said to me "No, no one was calling", and then I said "Are you sure? What else would vibrate like that?", kinda joking really. She kind of stuttered and seemed almost a bit nervous and said oh yea someone did call. Then she said it was some guy from her class who was probably calling about a project.Ok, so this is where my jealousy kicks in... It was around 11pm on a Sunday night. The class he has with her is not until later on in the week, so why would he need to call her about the class on a Sunday at 11pm? It seems strange. And why was her cell on vibrate? And why did she try to say no one called, when obviously someone did call. Granted she told me who it was... But, if this guy is calling her, she must have given him her number. I said, why dont you answer it? She said, I dont feel like talking to him right now...A couple minutes later, I got up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I got out, and then she went in with her phone and closed the door. She didnt call him because I had my ear pressed against the door, but I wonder if she was texting him... I tried to setup little situations that would put me in the same room with the phone and her out of the room, but she kept the phone glued to her side. I want to know whats up, but there is a chance that its nothing at all, and I am just over reacting... But, I feel as though with some of the stuff in our past that things like this are probably more than just nothing. I want to bring it up with her this evening when we are home, but I dont want to argue with her, or fight with her. I just want to know.Any thoughts?Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies! We have been together for about a year now and we live together. I wish that I didnt have to deal with these things so deep into our relationship. I guess, you never truly are able to escape jealousy.
A
female
reader, dreamflower +, writes (25 August 2008):
 She is DEFINETLY acting suspicious. Although you cannot condemn someone for something they haven't done yet, I would suggest talking with her about it. You should never invade someones privacy just to calm your own issues...but keeping an eye on her seems like a good idea. SHe doesn't seem tointrested in being honest with you, and that's good evidense that she doesn't respect you either. If it was 'just a guy calling about school' she wouldn't have lied about it. If were you I wouldn't stick around to find out. Dump her, tell her why (because I don't trust you) and until she decides to act honestly, worry about yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): Just be honest with her. Let her know that this whole situation has made you upset and jealous don't ever be ashamed of admitting your jealous its a natural feeling everyone feels. If i were you i would calmly sit down with her and tell her your feelings and than ask her what really happened. If she says nothing happened just go with it trust plays a big role in every relationship. A phone call doesn't mean anything... But if after you talk to her about this it continues than i would start looking into the situation further.
I wish you the best
God Bless
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (25 August 2008):
 the way she is acting doesn't seem normal and i would feel a little curious, too. lying and stammering aren't usually good signs.
at the same time, she's there with you on a sunday night instead of with him. and projects can be important.
i would confront her, tell her what's going on in your head... figure out what the deal is, then treat her so sweetly she won't ever believe she gave the guy her number in the first place.
i mean, there IS email.
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