A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I got married five months back..My husband had married once and the got divorced. He told me the reason for their divorce is because his Ex- wife got a better paying job and then they started having problems. Even though I had all means to inquire about his past, I did not do and trusted his words. He came from India to USA and back home he has not told anyone other than his family members about his marriage with me. Few of his friends are here. My husband calls them and they call him too. But my husband is hiding his marriage with me from his friends. When his friends from his past call him, I have to keep silent. I feel insulted. I feel like I am in an illegitimate relationship. When I asked him about this, he said I can't disclose this fact to my friends about my previous divorce, because they carry a good image of me in their eyes..It hurts me that his fake image is more important to him than his relationship with me.. When I tell him about my feelings, he says that I have some mental problem and I need to see a doctor.. I am really very upset and thinking to take divorce. Is it an unreasonable demand for a legally married woman? It gives me his the idea how he thinks and makes me scared about my future.Please do advise.
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divorce, his ex, married woman Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 There is an argument for different cultures behaving differently but you are a person in you own right and your first duty is to be true to yourself. In a western society he must learn to adapt.If you are worried enough to think about divorce get all the support you can - family, friends, counsellor. Life is too short to be put in a straight jacket.
A
male
reader, michael786  +, writes (19 May 2009):
You don't have to think anything bad. If you think bad then you'll end up in a bad and danger in future. Actually his future will be in danger. Your husband doesn't want to remember the past. He might be having his old friends. He doesn't want his friends to laugh about his old marriage break up. I think it's good to have a secret in order to keep his mental problem away. Life has got full of problems. I think facing the problems makes you stronger.
If you think that you want a divorce get ready to marry someone else who keeps you safe.
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A
male
reader, abhimen +, writes (19 May 2009):
Hey hi.You love him thats why you are staying with him so better don't test your relationship.I know it feels bad that he is not disclosing your marriage to his friends but he has told his family atleast.Try to understand his thinking,may be its foolish but if possible accept his foolishness as time will pass by he'll definitely proudly declare that you are his soul mate.So stop thinking of divorce & divorce if he doesn't care for you or love you,& you think some1 better would have entered your life but i think you love him so give him sometime to understand that he's a jerk not respecting your emotions.Guys are jerk,i accept it but it is temporary,somewhere down the line we realize that.
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A
male
reader, TaoTang +, writes (19 May 2009):
 What is wrong with him, If i got married i would announce it to the world if i had to, because finally i found someone who can tolerate me and be loved by me, finally someone i can hang out with, live with, have kids with
I dont know whats wrong with him, he should be telling everyone he knows
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