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My husband is a rug and allows his son and ex to walk all over him

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 April 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2012)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

I have been with my husband for 8 yrs When we first moved in together his son (who is 27yrs old) would treat me very badly, he was very abusive towards me and always used the excuse "Its because of the way last step mother treated me" I have bent over backwards to try and make this kid like me..I have treated him no different than my own son if anything I have treated him better.. He is always lying to his father and this really gets to me.. I have actually given him money so he will come spend time with his father, then when its time for him to come visit he says he doesn't have gas or money (which I just handed to him).. He still lives with his mother and she isn't any better... The lies are non stopping and the father (my husband) always says why are you upset with me I didn't do anything... Yes I get very upset with him because he will not be a FATHER and tell his son there are reactions for every action.. The father is a rug and his son and ex walk all over him and he doesn't do or say anything to them PLEASE HELP ME

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntStop letting the stepson walk all over you, sop trying to bend over backwards to make him like you. Don't talk to the ex-wife, leave that to him to deal with the ex and the son. Honestly, if you have to "bribe" the stepson to come over, why bother? He is 27 years old and should know better.

Ask your hubby to have some one-on-one visits with his son. That way you don't have to be there for his son's behavior.

When you keep giving him stuff, it's like a 3 year old.. you give them candy to shut them up, they are going to scream even louder hoping for a bigger reward.

Nip it in the bud and leave his family (ex-wife and son)

for HIM to deal with. Obviously you have tried your tail off and gotten nothing but hassle. Personally, I rather my stepson didn't come visit if I knew he was going to act like a jerk.

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A female reader, Lucky786 United Kingdom +, writes (6 April 2012):

Lucky786 agony auntI don't think you should intefere in the father-son relationship. You can't make your husband tell his son anything. He has to do that himself (if he wants to).You can't pay your stepson to visit his own father. he has to do that himself (if he wants to).

I'd say stop giving your stepson money and stop trying to fix things.

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