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My husband has moved in with an ex friend of mine, is it possible that they are really in love??

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2010)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I just found out that my husband, who moved out a couple of months ago, has just moved in with a woman who used to be a friend of mine.

I ended my friendship with her about a year ago because I felt she was behaving inappropriately with my husband, swimming topless when they were alone together, calling him darling in text messages, but my husband always swore that there was nothing going on between them other than a mutual love of rock climbing.

Last Friday a friend of mine saw this woman and she couldn't wait to tell her that she was moving in with my husband that day. She told her that they were in love and wanting to make a real go of it. I called my husband to hear it from him and he told me that her moving in wasn't ideal but she had to move out of her home because she'd been cheating on her boyfriend, who was also a friend of my husband's, with him for the last couple of weeks and had no place else to go.

I just can't believe that someone I was in love with can behave like this, it belongs on Jerry Springer. I feel devastated that I've been betrayed like this with the one woman I really intensely dislike in the world. Why would someone do this? Is it possible that they're really in love and will have a successful relationship out of this?

View related questions: moved in, moved out, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010):

Your husband kept her on ice basically and there was OBVIOUSLY something going on, over and above rock climbing - I mean c'mon. In terms of your own hurt I think what you are saying is that how can someone just seemingly throw away the emotions for one person and pick up with another woman. Its unusual - but again he has been playing all along so this is all a set up I'm afraid. The trouble is - and this is where you will just have to sit it out and see - they are both cheats and at some point your husband will wake up one morning and he will realise that his new relationship is built upon the foundations of a lie and it will eat away at them both to the point where, beacuse their boundaries are already eroded, they will cheat with other people. They are each a rebound and don't work. The very best thing you can do is get yourself looking shit hot and get on with your new life. Make sure the next man you have a serious relationship with is absolutely a great guy and offers you a life you want - don't settle for less or feel worthless. You will have no regrets and your husband is going to have plenty.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010):

All I can say is he is a cheat, she is a cheat they are welcome to each other, no, actually they deserve each other.

Move on with your life, leave them to their cheating ways.

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (22 June 2010):

baddogbj agony auntSome women with self esteem issues have a thing about taking a man away from another woman. It is a way of proving to themselves that they are somehow worth more. The other poster is right that their relationship is unlikely to last because once she has "won" she doesn't have to be anything like as nice to him as she was when she was stealing him from you.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2010):

It's possible. But it's often well known that a man who has an affair doesn't have lasting love with his mistress. Generally, the relationship starts to break down after a year or two because they realize that the only came together because of the thrill of the affair, and not because there was true love. It's very possible that it would work, but more likely it won't. What you mustn't do now is dwell upon it. You need to take your time, get back out there with friends and move on. Easier said than done, but that's the best thing you can do. You can do better than have a lousy friend like her, and a lousy man like him.

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (22 June 2010):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntWait...

Is he currently married to you?

If so, he is shagging her left right and center and you need to leave.

If he is your EX husband, he is shagging her left right and center and you need to get over it.

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