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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So I am 22 years old and i have been married for 2 years with my husband for 4. We have a beautiful 8 month old daughter. Everything was great until Sunday morning. We live in a five bedroom house so we rent some of the rooms out to friends. We had my best friend living here. She is pregnant with my Husband's cousin's baby. Well early Sunday morning i was in my daughter's room rocking her back to sleep.... she has a really bad upper respiratory infection..... my husband came in and said he was going to go down stairs to the bathroom and he would be right back. We had been drinking and he was really drunk so when he was gone for awhile i didn't think anything of it. So i went down stairs to make the baby a bottle and when i walked into the kitchen i looked over and my husband was having sex with my best friend in her room with the door wide open. Up until this even i was the only girl my husband had ever been sexual with. He says he can't remeber how he eneded up in her room or how it started and they both say that it is the first time anything has ever happened between them. She moved out on Sunday evening. I don't know what to do. My mind say to leave him but my heart says to stay and try to work it all out. What should i do?
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best friend, cheated on me, cousin, drunk, moved out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 April 2011):
 FWIW, my mom forgave my dad an affair after they had been married for 25 years and had grown children.
he had never cheated before and never cheated after.
my mother sadly died in his arms 11 years later...
People make mistakes. IF you want to forgive him and work it out and you believe he can make the changes needed then I would say work on it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): So how exactly did they have time to have sex... Rather than point out the obvious, you were upstairs , right in your home, when your hb was having sex with your friend. Can you even understand what I am saying?So now it is your hb and you against the rest of the world? Listen, you do not have to now start protecting your hbs reputation. I think he has done a good job messing up himself, didn't he? So many 'sexual ' coincidences? Your hb must have 9 lives at least to prove all these incidents as incorrect.Honey, save your marriage, it is the right thing to do. But stop being so naïve and so defensive. I think deep down your hb is capable of so much more sh1t therefore you gave him a lie detector test, keylogger investigations and so forth.You are going to keep him under surveillance for the rest of your marriage, right?LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know for a fact that they have not been sleeping together for a while now. Because up until the last two weeks she has been attached to her baby's daddy's hip. He drives her to work brings her home and sleeps in her bed. And while she is at work she was always talking to me on her company e-mail address and yahoo messenger. Plus my husband literally works two streets away from me and i randomly stop by to see him. So how exactly did they have time to sleep around. And by the way not that it is any of your business but i am not having sex with my husband right now. I am making him go get tested before we do anything and i have more willpower than that. I'm not that stupid to just give it to him after what he did. And as of yesterday my husband and i no longer talk to the girl we have blocked her from every form of communication. after talking to her about some stuff she told me a bunch of stuff that i found out were not true about my husband. Like the fact that he supposedly slept with my 16 year old cousin. and that he has a picture of one of my friends topless on his phone( the picture she described was of me one of my friends from high school looks alot like me at a glance.) And the fact that he supposedly felt up his brothers girlfriend ( with this one he accidentally elbowed her boob while she was on the back of his fourwheeler.... i was there when this happened and i know you are going to make a comment about him having his brother girlfriend on the back of his fourwheeler but his brother rides a dirt back that can't fit two people so me and her take turns riding behind my husband.)I know 100% that none of these things are true. because i was either present for them, or i hooked my husband up to a lie detector and asked about them. By the way his uncle is a cop so he has access to stuff like that. I also have a spy software on our computer that tracks every key stroke he makes. I'm pretty good at designing code and what i can't do i have a very smart friend that wrights software for the government that can do it for me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): Op I think you are rather foolish to remain friends with the woman your hb has been banging for a while now.
the only thing different for him is that HE GOT CAUGHT IN THE ACT. therefore he knows he has to behave in front of you. a man and woman do not "just start having sex" FOR NO REASON. how did he end up between her legs while you were taking care of the kid? it means that he has no respect for you whatso ever. it means that he was comfortable just having a quickie with her while you tended the baby. it shows that it was not the first time so no matter what you want o belive, believ this: they both pulled the wool over you: they were getting it on while you were not around. how many times have you left them alone together before. just think about what i am saying!!!
by you remaining friends with that b*tch it means that you are ok with her and your hb making a fool of you.
yes you are desperate to stay with this man bec of your kid, but start being wise and not so trusting. i am sure you have already made up, started giving him good sex and well he knows he now can do anything and you will crawl back. sex doesnt solve your marital issues. it just hides the truth.
so what do you do: your hb needs to cut off all ties with this woman. and u too.
they both will NEVER admit the truth so you can just forget it.
save your marriage by all means however your cousin needs to know what his gf was up to with your hb. are u certain she is not pregnant with your hbs baby. perhaps u may think my words are too far fetched but hey, right now, you need to question.
You hb got away scott free and he knows it!!!!!
LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRegarding It amuses me how the 'other woman' always gets the blame and the husband is forgiven 'i believe that he has never done this sort of thing before'. Are you kidding me??? Im betting that they have been AT IT for ages behind your back! If your going to stay with him you really have no right to complain when he does it again and again and again. Once a cheater always a cheater...once a doormat.....always a doormat. Sorry if I sound harsh thats life!.......... I didn't blame just her I blame him too. I am still friends with her. And he is still being punished. Im sorry but we have a baby together so I cant exactly walk away and never look back. And believe me when I say this if he is ever caught in a compromising position weather anything actullay happened or not.... Or regardless who started it his ass will be gone. He knows I dont trust him right now which Is why I have passwords to everything of his.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): It amuses me how the 'other woman' always gets the blame and the husband is forgiven 'i believe that he has never done this sort of thing before'. Are you kidding me??? Im betting that they have been AT IT for ages behind your back! If your going to stay with him you really have no right to complain when he does it again and again and again. Once a cheater always a cheater...once a doormat.....always a doormat. Sorry if I sound harsh thats life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs of right now my husband and i are trying to work things out. I love him more than i can say and i honestly believe that this was the first time he has done anything like this. He is beating him self up more than i am. He won't allow him self to touch me in any way shape or form. No hugs nothing. All he has done for the last two days is cry. He even went and talked to the pastor at our church about it. I honestly do believe that he is truly sorry for his actions. As for my friend she has moved back in with her parents and is trying to find a house for her and her baby. I am still talking to her trying to figure out what happened that night.My husband knows that he is not allowed to go anywhere with out me for a really long while. Lucky for me he works with his twin brother so i know he will never be alone. His brother is extremely protective about me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): Referring to:"I know you have a little one and it will behard but I would be VERY surprised if you couldever trust him again. LEAVE."and"if i were you i would leave him and never look back"Do you really think life is as simple as that??? The fact that you guys give such simplistic black and white advice shows that you guys are very naïve and have no fucking idea...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): If he was drunk and she not, then technically she was in the wrong more than he was. His ability to properly assess situations and how to deal with it was impaired, alcohol does this, however not to the extent that he couldn't have refused or pushed her away.But she was with sound mind. She CHOSE, with complete control of her body, mind and senses, to engage. If he made the overture and she chose not to resist and even embraced it... that makes her worse.Both of them should be kept separate, and never ever allowed anywhere with each other again. You husband needs to seek redemption and amends for his disgusting action.Only YOU know if you and your relationship are strong enough to rebuild or whether it's better to sever ties and move on.I believe everyone deserves a second chance. And a second chance alone. It happens again, boot his arse out.Flynn 24
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): With all due respect, this is typical behavior when alcohol is involved in any situation. Sure it was his birthday but there are more original ways he could have celebrated it and because he made a decision to drink he put himself at risk of many things, including impaired judgment. Just because he was drunk is not an excuse for any behavior... thats like me saying im at the gym and high on endorphin rushes that i just grab a womans ass without even knowing it. Please. This guy knew damn well what he was doing and made a decision without any consideration towards your relationship and marriage. The fact he's the only one youd been with adds extra damage to it because now his ability in decision making is in huge question by you (rightfully so) and with a baby in the picture? Is it reasonable for one to think if a man cant make a choice between sex and booze or a relationship and child is good for your life? He's now created a whole bunch of problems for you and also for people within that house since he did this so shockingly and in an unpredictable way. How will everyone else trust him now with anything? How will he be viewed by that big house? The guy needs to be responsible and grow the f*** up and you yourself shouldnt be collateral damage in the process. His childish behavior calls for counseling and an action plan to rebuild trust, that is if hes the luckiest effin man in the world to be given a second chance after such an incident. Best on this.
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female
reader, Luv2giveadvice  +, writes (12 April 2011):
I dont know how you can believe that he
"didnt know how" he ended up there with her...
Drunk doesnt mean blind.
I know you have a little one and it will be
hard but I would be VERY surprised if you could
ever trust him again. LEAVE.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo she wasnt drunk at all. My husband and I went to the bar saturday nighg because it was his birthday. We got home around 2am. My friend was babysitting her. And the baby was asleep when we got home, but woke up shortly after. My husband claims that he doesnt remember anything after we left the bar. I love my husband and I dont want to leave him is will do anything to savd my marriage. We now only have two male room mates both have been his friends since elementary
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 April 2011):
 I prefer privacy over extra income by renting rooms to other people. I would move to a three bedroom and work on the relationship. He has to quit alcohol and devote more of his energy to you and the baby. No babies should ever live around alcohol. I don't know what's up with your friend to do something like that. Was she drunk too? Tell her to quit alcohol too. No amount of alcohol is safe when pregnant.
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female
reader, nester +, writes (12 April 2011):
first of all your husband and your best friend are full of shit. he knew what he was doing drunk or not. and how do you even know if that,s not really his baby your so called best friend is having. you need to wake up and realize that this has been going on for a while and that,s the reason she wanted to move in with the two of you in the first place. if i were you i would leave him and never look back.
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