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My heart is longing for the ex bf but I will hurt my current guy! Help..what should I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 September 2007)
A female Philippines age 36-40, *szajean writes:

My ex boyfriend and i broke up because i always feel he is more happy with his friends and liquor than with me,i want his rest day spend with me, but there is always time that we end up together with his friends, he always tell me that he loves me so much,yeah we love each other but there are so many things we always argue,we accept that even we love each other maybe were not meant to be so we decided to break up.

And now,after a couple of months im happy with my present boyfriend he loves me so much and afraid to leave him he always have time with me because he don't drink, but when the time comes that i need someone who will help me(money matters) my boyfriend cant do anything to help me,ill also ask help for my friends and relatives but none of them help me,i really need that money for my family,i don't have any choice the last person comes on my mind is my ex,my present boyfriend disagree with that thinking and tell me try to another person, after a long conversation, apology and many promises my present allow me to call him up,i call my ex boyfriend i don't hesitate to tell him my problem and about having my new boyfriend, after i tell him what i need he says that i can have the money tomorrow afternoon and he tell me also that he can't say "no' to me that he will do anything if its me who need his help

my present boyfriend told me that we will pay him when he got his money.. but when me and my ex meet again to give me the money theres something between us we cant explain but we both know i have someone so he just give me the money and told me that he is always there..but when the day goes by crisis in my family gets worse! again its my ex who always there in my side

( financially and emotionally)even where always together he control his self to talk about us, until one day the time im afraid to came is happen,he visit me at my house drunk,he hug me crying, he told me he wants me back,he will do anything to win me back,if he needs to court me he will!he need to control his feeling to me because he really get hurt with our last break up,even though he know that his love for me will stay and will not be gone,he promise also to his self that he will always be there in times like this, but he will accept the fact that were not meant.but now he cant help it,all he know is that he love me so much and want to be with me for the rest of his life, he promise to change and will do what i want just to love him and be with him again,i told him give me some time to think about it,also his self maybe he is drunk thats why he said that words, maybe he don't know what he is saying our situation is not that easy we all know that i have my boyfriend, after he leave, i closed the doors and cried all night i will fool myself if i don't admit to myself that i still love him,but im really afraid to get hurt again with him, im afraid that he will not change,and we end up arguing the same matter, im not asking his friends and drinking loss in his life im asking for only the right time where it would be, how and when to make it, he don't know how to balance his spare time,thats why were avoiding to see each other because we know that there is a feeling remain with each other,my present boyfriend also told me that thing, so he want me to promise that i will never leave him and nothing to talk about aside from the purpose of seeing each other my present boyfriend is too far to me but he don't forget to call me and get in touch with me, he cant help me this time because he don't have a job he is still waiting for his visa.

I understand my present boyfriend situation,but sometimes i cant stop blaming him why i have this feeling again with my ex i cant stop myself falling in love again with my ex he don't stop courting me and to make me feel that he really loves me,that he is the guy for me, he asking for another chance..

what should i do? my present boyfriend will really get hurt,im the only one who makes him happy.. my brain said don't come back again with my ex,but my heart is longing for my ex boyfriend.

View related questions: broke up, drunk, money, my ex

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A female reader, leanne.od United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2007):

leanne.od agony auntyou're present boyfriend loves you and gives you what you want, time together. you're ex is an ex for a reason, so the next time you feel anything for this guy, remember about the way he prefers his friends to spending time with you, all the arguing and not to mentioning him being drunk whilst telling you he is going to change!

he won't change, maybe for a week or so to win you back, but things will return to the way they were. you need to focusing on your loving boyfriend and forget you ex.

otherwise you'll end loosing them both.

god luck

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