A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am engaged to a wonderful guy,and have been for a number of years,but lately things aint been to good,he constantly accuses me of having a friend with benefits,which is untrue and he is constantly suspicious of whatever i do,yet he`s made it quite clear we aint got a future,what do i do about it?
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male
reader, g man  +, writes (12 September 2007):
Why would man accuse you of this without foundation? Why not prove the man wrong,because he must have one man in mind. I dont see any reason why he would say it. If he wanted out then he will walk,not stay and carry on so. He must be very tormented by this belief.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Where did the suspicion start? Theres seldom smoke without fire.If he accuses you of having friends with benefits,then who is it? Are you being totaly honest here? It doesnt add up.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (12 September 2007):
 On the one hand you say you're engaged to this man, on the other hand, he says you have no future together? It could be that he's getting cold feet. The other thing you need to look at is whether you really do have a few male friends that you're being too close or too friendly with. His fears aren't coming out of thin air. They're coming out of real life situations that are in your relationship and it's making him do the backstroke. It could be that you see these male friendships as "harmless" but he doesn't think so. You may need to curb your activity with your male friends so he will stop being suspicious. You cannot build a marriage without trust. You can still be friends with them, but you don't have to go out to lunch with them, or have too much close personal contact on a regular basis. This should help put his mind at ease if there's really nothing going on. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (12 September 2007):
On the one hand you say you're engaged to this man, on the other hand, he says you have no future together? It could be that he's getting cold feet. The other thing you need to look at is whether you really do have a few male friends that you're being too close or too friendly with. His fears aren't coming out of thin air. They're coming out of real life situations that are in your relationship and it's making him do the backstroke. It could be that you see these male friendships as "harmless" but he doesn't think so. You may need to curb your activity with your male friends so he will stop being suspicious. You cannot build a marriage without trust. You can still be friends with them, but you don't have to go out to lunch with them, or have too much close personal contact on a regular basis. This should help put his mind at ease if there's really nothing going on. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, honestheart +, writes (12 September 2007):
It seems to me like this guy is doing his best to push you away. In his heart he knows you're not guilty of cheating but he feels that if he keeps accusing you, you'll have enough and leave. I'm sorry to say this, but it seems his heart really is not in this relationship anymore.
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A
male
reader, gandalf +, writes (12 September 2007):
if youre engaged and he doesnt trust you it sounds doomed.
Im sure your a nice girl just being honest
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Hi,
From my experience its the men that are guilty, they then accuse us of having affairs. There must be something on his mind.
You need to sit down and think long and hard, is this the man for you? do you see a happy future with him. And also if you do manage to save this realationship will he behave the same way towards you down the line.
Start turning the tables on him, start to question his motives.
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