A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend was upset with me because I didn't do anything out of the ordinary for our monthsary (monthsary is a different month but same day we became official). She also doesn't do anything out of the ordinary for our monthsary, so I don't think she should be upset with me.If she expects me to do special things on our monthsary, shouldn't she do what she expects from me?M. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 January 2009):
 I told my husband about this question, I guess because the term "monthsary" intrigued me.
He told me to tell you to break up with her. I'm paraphrasing here, so bear with me if I get this wrong. Right, so he said to break up with her now. She's going to be hard work, and she's not going to get any easier to deal with. It doesn't matter how beautiful or sexy she is right now, she isn't always going to be gorgeous, but she will always be demanding and unreasonable.
Well, there you have it. It's a much harsher assessment than I would have made, but I think he kind of has a point. She is being unreasonable and unrealistic and overly demanding if she's angry about a monthsary she did nothing for herself.
Is it possible she's feeling neglected by you and this is her excuse to let you have it? Think about that, honestly assess your contribution to the whole of the relationship, and have a heart-to-heart talk with her about expectations and behavior.
"Dump her," my husband says. He's a bit harsh, but he might be saving you from years of having to make apologies for not doing everything she dreams up....
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 January 2009):
 I agree with Emilysanswer here.
I have never been big on celebrating Valentines nor anniversaries. Though I do give my husband a card and something either funny or naughty the morning of our anniversary, and usually he takes it as a clue and returns the faver. So in our house it's 50/50, however I initiate it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Some women go to extraordinary lengths to get a bunch of flowers!
Tell her when you get to the 12 month point you might consider doing something. Or perhaps her birthday, whichever comes first. But a monthsary? Christ, that's a new one on me! Anniversary is the word she should be focussing on. If you're not careful she'll be demanding a weeksary gift as well!
It might be very romantic, but it could get bloody expensive for you!
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (9 January 2009):
 Yes I think she has to do something too but usually girls expect the first step from the man. Anyway when I was in my first relationship I was 19 and my boyfriend 25, and we used to kinda celebrate every month our monthsary for the first 6 months, then it became just every year. Anyway after a while it does get pointless hehehe. Now that I am with another man, he actually is quite forgetful and doesnt care about those dates, I used to sulk but got over it. He does show me that he loves me in other special ways and that is enough for me. So now I see celebrating every month you have spent together as a bit immature.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 January 2009):
Buy her some flowers for your 6 week anniversary.
But ask her before then she she didn't get you anything either.
It could be she's one of those girls who expects gifts and presents but never gives anything back.
Good Luck!! xx
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