A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, everyone. In a bit of a bother.A month ago I entered a relationship with the most amazing girl. It's become pretty obvious with friends and some family that this could get really serious, and was going extremely well until something happened.Now, when I was 8 year's old, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, however, eventually over time, I've learnt to deal with it, and nobody even notices I have the condition anymore. I've not once been violent in my life, or aggressive, either verbally or physically. The thought of anybody behaving like that is plain ridiculous. I've got perfectly fine social skills and all is well. I also have a serious heart condition that was fixed during a surgery when I was only a year old and over the years I've had many other surgeries to help fix it.Unfortunately, her dad, whom I thought was a perfectly nice man, discovered I have both of these things, and he FREAKED. He told her that I was clearly not the one for her, that if we stayed together for a while yet, and had children one day, that they'd have a bunch of serious issues that wouldn't be worth her time or anyone elses.I want to try and make this work, regardless of the situation, so I was wondering if anyone had any advice for my situation. Thanks :)
View related questions:
violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2012): Her father sounds horrible! He cannot say those things to you and cannot tell his daughter to not be with you. You need to sit down with your girlfriend and her father and talk about your condition openely to try and make him understand, and if he doesn't I should hope she sticks up for you because he is being very opinioted.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (3 July 2012):
 Her father sounds like an ignorant git. Presumably the heart condition isn't hereditary? Your doctor should be able to tell you whether or not it is. And have you been reevaluated for Aspergers since you were 8? There have been a lot of advances in the field of Aspergers/ Autism and it may even be that it wasn't an accurate diagnosis. Even if it was, it sounds like you are coping perfectly well with it.
I can understand that he's concerned for his daughter but it's not really any of his business. How does your girlfriend feel about it? Is she close to her father or is he very domineering? If I was her I'd politely inform my father of the facts (to hopefully put his mind at rest) and ask him to respect my decision and my feelings.
I think all you can do is give him more information about your medical condition, let him get to know you better so he can be less anxious about the Aspergers, and hope that your girlfriend is able to stand her ground with her father. As for having children with his daughter - well, surely that's something that *might* happen a long way down the line. If you're being careful then it's not even an issue for the time being and her father is worrying about something that might never happen. In the mean time, let him get to know you and equip him with the facts.
Good luck.
...............................
|
