A
male
age
30-35,
*unchbox
writes:All right so here's the deal. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, and I truly love her. But for some reason lately I've been starting to enjoy the company of her best friend. Which she is not even close to being as hot as my girlfriend. Her best friend knows how to make me laugh, we go to the same university and have a class together and I find myself always chatting with her and making jokes. I don't believe it is a physical attraction. I try so hard to not feel this way but I can't help it. Can anyone give me some advice on what to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Hi, I'm in a very similar situation, but now already for quite a long time. I guess you should follow your heart, and be with the one you like most. I have to agree with wantedserial, that you're young and should enjoy your life. On a pragmatic level, I have to agree with martini, as I guess that it can be hard and complicated sometimes to actually start a relation to your girlfriends best friend. So my advice would be, to find out as soon as possible if that best friend really would like to start a relationship. I guess you can't know if she's seriously interested in a relationship, or just likes you. You have to find out!
But also, her being maybe not so hot, you could miss your current girl-friend later for those qualities of course. So you might end up unhappy either way.
So, maybe you have find a new girl, that's matching both mentally and bodily to you. I guess that's also what I'm going to do. Good Luck!
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Sounds like a classic scenario, very common for young people especially. If you have strong feelings for the best friend, it might be worth pursuing (though this is a tricky thing to do). If you decide that you want to be with her, break up with your girlfriend. It's not fair to lead either of them on, so figure out where you stand and let them both know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): This is easy. The 'best friend' compliments your personality. Don't think that once you have a girlfriend, then it's all just trying to work towards a future with that same person. If you achieve it, great, you may have a wonderful relationship. If you happen to meet someone else along the way that fits you better, it just means the one you have now isn't as compatible. Then again, this is not completely accurate. Some people simply like the thrill of fresh new conquests.
Someone not being nearly as 'hot' as you already know, it's just surface material. It IS just as important or nearly as important as having a good personality in an intimate relationship - of course depending on the individual.
What should you do? Well, it sounds pretty obvious.
1) Continue your relationship with your girlfriend and build on that. Step away from the 'best friend'.
2) Break off your relationship with your girlfriend and see if the 'best friend' would accept you. However, this is not good since I would surmise that 99% of similar cases, the girlfriend and best friend relationship would become very bad.
3) Break off with your girlfriend and find someone else out there who will fit you better.
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A
female
reader, wantedserial +, writes (24 February 2009):
You can't help who you fall in love with and if they are pretty or not. You're young enjoy your life make the decision that will work best for you!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!
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