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My girlfriend never wants to have sex anymore!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. When we first got together it was without a doubt the happiest that I have ever been in my life. But now things have changed and I don´t know what to do. She doesn´t want to have sex with me. It´s gotten so bad that I don´t even try anymore. Everything else is good. We hardly ever fight and we always have a good time together. She obviously loves me but the sex just isn´t happening. I try and talk to her about it and she says that nothing is wrong. She says she is still attracted to me but she just doesn´t feel like it. What should I do about this? I want to stay with her but it´s so hard.

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A male reader, Say It Straight United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2007):

I agree with the other aunts to give it some time but dont just let it slip into oblivion, it is very easy to leave it alone so as not to rock the boat. There are many reasons why this sort of thing happens, but comunication and understanding is the only way to help. Don't pressure her into talking she will just put up a brick wall and alienate the both of you. Let her know that you want to talk sometime when she is ready.

Sex dwindled then dissapeared from my marriage after about 18 months, we then spent many years skirting round the issue and finding every reason under the sun not to bring the subject up. I accepted the fact that she would never talk about it, we tried Relate counciling and in the end life with my wife ment a life without sex, somehow I was ok with that.

Ten years into our marriage i caught my wife out cheating on me by having an affair with our postman, that was the biggest kick in the teeth i have ever had. After years of bieng the understanding husband and accepting her wishes without compromise, she was having sex with the postman.

Talk to your wife and be sympathetic, after time you both may benefit from some counciling just to help you both comunicate but for both your sakes don't leave it too long and get to the bottom of it.

Good luck

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntSit down and talk to her about it. Her sex drive might have taken a dive due to any number of reasons.

I'm pregnant at the moment and am never in the mood but I feel at times now I have just got in the habit of not being in the mood.

Chat with her and see what she says and if you can come up with a solution that makes you both happy :)


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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntHey don't worry too much i think everyone goes through stages where they are not as up for it as we may like them to be.

Just leave her be for a while and you will probably find she will be ok again soon.

Take care.xx.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

I have the same problem with my partner sometimes. He has gone right off sex, and says there is no problem. I think to him there's not, but the more I badger him the more he shy's away.

The best thing to do is leave them alone for a few weeks. See how she reacts if you dont keep on, and she may get interested again. If not perhaps you can persude her to see a doctor.

If this doesnt work you may have to except that she is just like this, and it will be your decision to either stay or go.

Hope it all works out. XXX

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