A
male
age
41-50,
*adman03
writes:Me and my girlfreind have been going out for one 13 months now and i really love her alot infact i could pretty much say i cant live without her. Im 14 yeah young but madly in love. When i was high i mistakenly tried to make out with another girl. She eventually found out. I tried to lie and that even made it worse. I know she loves me and i love her alot also, but she is going threw deep depression she smokes a lot of marujunha now a days like alot is going un healthy and is not doing good in school. I just found out her mom saw her crying a couple of times and now she sees one of those Phycolgists that interveiw. She doesnt lisen to me anymore at all i dont know what to do. She says just wait on me but does not assure us back together sometime. Im jus helping her in her time of deprssion. She really takes me just as a freind. But if i bring up the realtionship again she gets deprssed she tellls me not to bring it up but i always do mistakngly. She also tells me to stop trying to control her life. Even tho she doesnt make smart descions without me. I dont know what to do i have totally lost her. She says the only thing that helps her is smoking marijhnua and i all i bring her is stress. And she needs some time. But shes naot assuring me back together. i really want to see her happy so i just go on with the whole freind thing and we talk alot just as a couple would like on the phone till 3 in the monring but were just not a couple its weird. She doesnt even lisen to me on the smallest of things. I really dont know what to do i dont want to totally ditch her cause i love her alot and I wanna see her happy and she says being is freinds is gona make her happy. Do you think its worth the wait. Im gona ask her out again on my birthday 30 daysleft i hope she accepts please help me i am so depressed:(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): there isnt much i can realy say because i dont know you or your girlfriend.but i am a 20 year old woman and have been suffering from deppresion since my dad died when i was 10 and i started blazing weed when i was 14 and thourght that it helpt.i was the same with my boyfriend use to push him away but just give her time and space.my boyfriend did with me and we have now been together for 3years.i am 3months pregnant and have stopt smoking.smoking isnt helping her just making it alot worse.
A
female
reader, BadAsh6705  +, writes (11 November 2008):
 You shouldn't blame this on yourself.
At that age, girls go throught a lot of hormonal changes that are confusing and can make them feel depressed. When I was 14 I contantly fought with my parents and rebeled in every way and a lot of the time I was depressed. It's normal.
I think the best thing for you to do is just simply let her know that you care about her and you will be there for her if she wants to talk. Then leave her alone.
It sounds like you two are close, I'm sure if you just leave her alone to think she will eventually want to talk to you again because she will remember what you told her and when she needs someone to talk to, she will come to you when she is ready.
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