A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For a few weeks (about 3), I've been confused about the way i feel about my girlfriend. We have been going on strong for 5 months now, and we were completely attached to each other. But recently I've been having doubts. Now that she has this new apprenticeship, I barely see her. (I haven't seen her since last Saturday) The problem is I think I'm falling out of love with her... if that makes any sense. It's been a full week without seeing her. I don't know why I feel the way I do. I don't miss her like I should be. I feel I don't love her like I used to. She's a different person to me now. She's definitely not the same girl I fell in love with 5 months ago. I really have no idea what I can do. But I can't keep this charade on. I can't fake love. It's painful. Please someone help me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk. After 2 long hours its over. Thank you everyone. Your help has been appreciated. It turns out shes been hiding things behind my back. Old habits if hers I tried to stop her from doing. I guess it wasn't just a feeling I had.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbeentheretoo I you have it exactly right. I feel as if shes a friend more than anything. I have to end it before it escalates into more problems.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question:) Thank you for all the advice. I feel as if she isn't the right person for me and I don't think leading her on will be very healthy. I think I'll have to end it, but I have a problem with confrontation.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (13 December 2009):
 Gaining the apprenticeship would be a big thing in your girl's life, due to your posted age I am going to assume this is her first job since finishing school, so she has a lot happening in her life right now, the end of one stage and the beginning of another.
Of course she is going to change, she has left school and all that entails behind her and is taking her first steps into the adult world of learning a trade and earning a living, we all change and grow throughout our lives as we end and enter new stages, sometimes the transition periods are less noticeable than others but the changes still happen.
She is going to be tired, and possibly unavailable to you for a wee while yet, her body is going to have to adapt to a different timetable and her brain is going to have to assimilate a lot of new information.
You need to decide if you can be there through these transitions or not, but I really feel the best thing you can do for both of you is to organise a time where you can sit quietly and have a good honest chat with each other
good luck with it all
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A
female
reader, beentheretoo  +, writes (13 December 2009):
You know what makes you happy and if you aren't happy, you just don't match up. So many find out when the new and fun and shiny rubs off. That's why people date, it takes time to know how you completely fit or not. I seem to see it often happen with my friends' relationships at right about the 5-6 month mark. You know enough by then.
Better to break up now at 5 months than to try to convince yourself that you SHOULD be happy for whatever reason, and then you end up breaking up at 5 years in.
Again, this is why people date. You aren't bad she isn't bad, it just doesn't feel like love to you. And you deserve the real thing.
Breaking up doesn't have to be ugly. Tell her that you will always treasure the time you've had together with no regrets, but it's just not what you want anymore.
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, CellarDoor89 +, writes (13 December 2009):
 So this could be a number of things. After a certain point in a relationship both people start to become too comfortable with one another and it almost doesnt even feel like a relationship anymore. So it may seem like you partner or you are changing but that may not be the deal at all. If thats the case then I think you should stick with it for another few weeks and see if things start to change a little bit. If it isnt this at all and she really has changed then you should probably talk to her and see what she thinks. The last thing you want to do is simple cut it short and split because you never know exactly what is going it, it may be a simple for fix or a misunderstanding. Talk to her, or give it some time. Good luck.
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