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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid, I have been in a commited relatioship for about 18 months. I am 36 and divorced, she is 32 and never been married. I have a few concerns about our relationship. The first is about her guy friends. She has 5 male friends that she goes out with individually. She goes with them to dinners, movies, parties, art shows, and their houses. She has even gone to weddings with them as their date. She sometimes gets home very late. My concern is that I don't know any of these guys and I don't think she should be out with people I never met. She assures me that they are only friends and that she does not like to intermingled them. A few months ago she has finally agreed to let me meet them but it still hasn't happened. It seems like there is always some excuse. Is dinner and a movie a date? Should I be worried? The second concern is that she has a picture of her ex-boyfriend in the house that she says she can never get rid of. Is this normal? The last concern is that she makes frequent phone calls to her mother when we are alone. It could be a nice dinner, a movie, or a walk around the park and she will stop right in the middle of what we are doing and call mom. She even fakes going to the bathroom and calls mom instead. I asked her if this was necessary and she says it is because they are close. I have known her and her mom from the neighborhood for many years prior to our dating, so I don't think trust is an issue. It just seems like we can never can be alone. Please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2005): She is lying to you. Trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong then it probably is. It is not normal and very disrespectful to be doing what she is doing and I dare say she would not expect it of you. Think with your brain and it will all be clear. Be a man and don't stand for any of it.
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reader, Chaos +, writes (18 June 2005):
I'm going though the exact same thing. All the answers to these types of questions are the same. You should trust her, trust her. Well you should trust your feelings too. Listen to yourself if you you feel theres something amiss. Dont be afraid to ask her and to stick it out there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2005): There's no reason that you can't meet her friends. There's no better way to get to know someone. If she knows that it would help put your mind at ease, she should introduce you to them and do it early in the relationship.Pictures of ex's are ok but have the courtesy to put them out of sight.The mom will never let go and neither will she. Sounds like she's been trained. Call in the middle of a date? Or from the bathroom? Come on!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2005): If you cant handle the idea that she may have male friends, she's not for you. You will get jealous, she'll get resentful. Same applies for the picture, wife has pictures of a couple of ex-es. Why shouldnt she have ? She loved them.The bit about the mom just plain wierd.
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