A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little confused as to what's going on in my relationship right now. Maybe it's partly my fault but I want you to tell me what you think.Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for four and a half years so far. I would look at it as being two and a half to three years, because for two of those years it was a long distance relationship and we rarely saw each other. Anyway, at first the long-distance was tough, but then I guess I got used to it because I didn't mind it as much. I mean, at that time I was very much in love with him, but I was in college far away and there was really nothing we could do besides sparce visits until I graduated. Once I did graduate, we were closer and saw each other a lot often which was great for awhile. Then it was time to really buckle down and find a job with my degree. Let's just say that used up a lot of my time and he told me it was like I was back at school because he never got to see me. My future is very important to me and I don't think he understands that.That's another thing, as far as a future, I'm still not sure I understand where he stands. He doesn't even "see" himself marrying me, getting married at all. When I confronted him about it (because I definitely want to be married and raise a family someday) he said he couldn't give me a definite answer at the moment because he didn't want to end up disappointing me or make false promises. At that time, I respected that but now I'm wondering what I'm still doing here. I still love him (because he is the sweetest person) but with all this thinking and re-evaluating my life with him in it, I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. Recently we had an argument again about how we rarely see each other and how he feels he makes all the efforts to make plans only for me to tell him I have something else to do. I got really upset because he throws this in my face constantly, and I'm sick of it. Maybe I'm feeling suffocated? I don't know.All in all, I find myself thinking of what it would be like just dating around, I'm 25, my family and friends remind me how I'm still young, too young to feel tied down and stressed. Boy am I stressed....
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female
reader, PsychicDove  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Hi Honey,
He is going to stay like this for several years, the non-commitment issue. I am told that you should actually let go because if you somehow made him marry you forcefully, he is going to brood and imagine himself as a martyr.
This is no life, especially if you want marriage. In the near future there will be certain power struggle issues, such as subtle manipulation by one of you with the other. Although it is in your highest good to let go, I don't see you doing this properly as there will be reunion and again break up and again reunion for the next few years.
You could try this affirmation to earn a worthier love life.
'I lovingly affirm that I radiate as well as receive true and ever lasting love from my husband'
10 deep and slow breathings, calm your mind and affirm silently in your mind as many times as you feel guided to do so. Maintain secrecy about this if you intend to practice it.
Take care okay?
Good Luck and Best Wishes
~PsychicDove
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): I was in the same position as you but i am male, my significant other she is 18 , we both were in this position few years ago, we then realised space is what was needed in order to sort our selfes out and make things less stressful, take some time out (few weeks, few months watever) now at present time few years later we are back to normal and married, we hanged in there and conqureed the distance, we both realize the distance is a issue, and thats something we had to overcome ON OUR OWN, and by that i mean.. by doin things, keeping yourself busy and stressing less, and TRUSTING EACH OTHER, TRUST AND COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. Goodluck!
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