A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. Been online dating now and then 3-4 times over the past 5 years, it's been very hit and miss, until recently. Only 3-4 times it worked out, relationships were short-term but I was OK with that.I wasn't there for hookup culture.I met a guy online. He seemed great from his description. His photos looked good, and he looked great. Well-built, toned, and had a great personality.His profile was full of humor.We chatted for 6 weeks online, then progressed to video call over Skype.Seems good?Well, a week on from the 3 weeks of video calls, we met up in person at a local take-out sandwich shop/burger place.Only he wasn't who he said he was when I met him.He turned out to be my close friend's wife. She's 37 and been married to my close friend, 34, for 4 years now.She confessed it to me before I'd even had a chance to eat or drink.How could she do this to me? I feel angry and humiliated.Especially after my friend's wife confessed the video calls were with an actor she'd paid to do it, the actor looked like the guy in the photos. Not a big-name actor or TV actor, just a guy who's active in local theater and does some TV extra work on the side.How could I be so blindsided and not realize this was a hoax?I feel like I should tell my close friend but she wouldn't believe me as it's her wife andthis is probably a hard truth for her to swallow.I've known my friend since she was 15 and came out to me. Back then it was difficult to be lesbian, even in a supposedly accepting city like a part of Dallas we live in!What would be my friend's motivation for doing this, aside from, maybe, perhaps, she has feelings for me?This makes me feel angry and confused over the whole thing.I've not done online dating much, only 3-4 times.Nowhere to turn to, so coming here for help.
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female
reader, RitaBrown  +, writes (9 June 2022):
I know you were hopping mad but didn't you ask her at the time why she'd catfished you?
And I'm surprised you think that she'd do something like this because she has feelings for you... Unless you mean feelings of hatred and contempt... because that would be my first thought... that she resents you and wants to drive a wedge between you and your friend.
This post scores high on the Trollometer
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (8 June 2022):
 I confused and perplexed about your post to say the least.
What were her intentions?. Who could possible know because its hardly even funny is it. I dread to think why someone would go to these lenths and organisation to do this, not to mention the cost of paying an actor to go on camera and pretend to be the guy your talking too.
If she does have feelings for you she has a funny a way of showing it, sending you on a date to meet what you thought was a hot date.
All a bit weird and strange if i'm honest, maybe give internet dating, and her for that matter a wide berth for a while.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2022): It was obvious that if shes paid an actor it was not a big time actor pmsl. Such big time actors are very very and often booked up for a year or more in advance, and not interested in poorly paid work. Were you thinking she might have sold her house and everything she owns to pay him for an hour of pretending?
So she fooled you, laugh it off, don't take it so seriously.
At least your life was more interesting for a bit, brought a smile to your face.
You were lucky it was not worse.Usually scammers have a photo of a good looking younger slimmer person, pretending to have a terrific exciting job and the nag you for money they say they need.
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