A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Where to start..A couple I am friends with broke up a couple of weeks ago. I have been friends with the guy for just over 3 years and have been pretty much best friends with the girl since she moved to town about 2.5 years ago.My problem is the guy and I have since started flirting and hanging out together- I know its bad and I try not to but I can't help it and now I think I'm developing feelings for himI love both of them to pieces and I value our friendship. They were togther for 2 years and even though their break up was very amicable, I feel like I'm being a bad friend to her if I pursue a relationship with himWhat should I do? Go for it or not?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): This is a bad idea. Do not go after your friend's ex, just tell him you cannot do that to your friend.I will tell you my experience with this kind of situation. A, B and myself were best friend's with each other. B was going with a guy, when they broke up, her ex tried flirting with me and asking me out, I said no because I would not do that to B. So he started flirting with A and she started a relationship with him. B couldn't trust A and their friendship ended. A ended my friendship with her because he has flirted with me too but B was still friend's with me, stating that I had not betrayed her. Once the ex found out that she was no longer friend's with B, he broke up with her and went off and found himself someone else. A good friend is hard to come by, and going after your friend's ex is not a good idea. Evaluate whether your friendship with your best friend is worth losing over a guy or not. Good Luck
A
female
reader, HughHefner'sPlaymate  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I hope to God I'll never have a "so called" friend like you. I feel bad for your friend, I'm pretty sure she will be crushed when she finds out that you're making a play for her ex. I do hope she tells you how she really feels and not lie and say she's cool with it. If I were your friend and you asked me if it was okay to hook up with my ex I'd be unhappy. Ultimately you're making the choice between your friend and her ex. Good luck with that !
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A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I'm not sure if any females are wiser to the fact that. . .GUYS USE THEIR EX'S BEST FRIENDS TO CUT THEM DEEP. There are many guys out there that would admit (to another guy) that the best way to get back at thier ex is to date her best friend. You're obviously falling right into his plan. You don't have to believe me. As a guy, I'm just warning you that you should be prepared to be used. It doesn't matter how much you think the break-up was mutual. You can't feel what they are feeling. For all you know, he's still crushing hard on her, or he's furious with the break-up. The best way he thinks he could get back at her is taking away her best friend. Trust me, it's a move many guys would do if it was possible. Congrats on making that much easier for him to accomplish. If this is his move, then don't think he'll fall in love with you. He's only doing it until she return or until he's satisfied with the amount or pain he has inflicted on her. When the results are in, you are out. Be smart. Walk away.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 July 2012):
 You have two options, you can either ignore him or you can ask your friend if it's OK. The worry with the second option is whether she'll lie and say she's OK with it when really she's not. I think it's very risky, especially when the break up is so fresh.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 You are being a bad friend right now for what you are doing. You say you can't help it, but really you can. He is not being much better flirting with you when he knows you and his ex are friends. You need to stop this right now if you value your friendship with her at all. This is just a line you do not cross when it comes to friendships and ex's. How would you feel if the tables where turned? If he asks to hang out again or flirts with you, tell him it is not acceptable, apologise and just say you cannot do that to your friend.
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