A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Note: a friend of mine (16) asked me to post this So my friends boyfriend and her were going strong for about 6 months until she found out he was attracted to a friend of hers, yet had no feelings whatsoever. My friend is devastated and angry, but I can see the guys point of view. He is attracted to a girl like most guys but isn't going to flaunt that in front of his girlfriend. When she asked him if he would go out with he awhile back he said no, but recently her friend wore a very tight, low cut outfit that made my friend curious so she asked him if he thought that she was hot. He said she looked good. She said would you date her n he said i guess if i wasn't with you. She is really angry, but i don't see it as a big deal. Agree or dissagree? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (19 September 2011):
Glad that you found it useful to seek advice and insight, relationships are a learning process, so you are bound to encounter difficulties as you go through them. Talking through your difficulties with your partner is a good place to start.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks!! My friend read all of the posts and after initial anger, she calmed down and realized you are all right. She says shes expecting her period (and trust me, she has BAD pms) but its still no excuse. Her and her boyfriend talked it out, so its all good! Special shout out to Idoneitagain! He said that she saw the other girl as a threat to their relationship, and my friend said that was 100% true, even though she didn't realize at first. But thank you to everyone, you all helped.
...............................
A
male
reader, idoneitagain +, writes (15 September 2011):
When two people go out with one another, the rest of the world doesn't suddnely become populated with unattractive people. There are still attractive people out there, and there is nothing wrong with a guy finding other people attractive or good looking, the same as there is nothing wrong with her finding other guys good looking or attractive.
Your friend is angry because when her boyfriend says he finds another woman attractive, that woman becomes a threat to her and their relationship. She feels trhreatened, and reacts with anger. Which is natural, but essentially pointless. It is as pointless as being angry with someone because they have an icecream and you don't.
It is a good exercise for her and her boyfriend to sit in a public place together and point out all of the people they think are attractive and the once they don't. After a while, you start to realise we are attracted to lots of different people, for lots of different reasons. You also realise that even if there are different kinds of attraction, it doesn't mean it will affect the relationship, that they still choose one another as the person to be in a relaitonship with.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): I think your friend is waaaay overreacting here.Number 1. All men have eyes and they're allowed to look. Even if a man is in love with a woman, his eyes will wander occasionally. Face it, we all notice attractive people. It's human nature. Especially for men, who are very visual creatures. At the end of the day, he's still with her isn't he? Means he sees her as #1, the prettier one, the smarter one, the better one. but to notice that someone else is attractive (which is OBVIOUS) is normal. You can't tape his eyes shut and keep him from looking around at the world. Pretty soon he'll get bored and start looking for someone else, just like NotDoneYet said. Listen to her.Hope that helped :)
...............................
|
