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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My friend's mom died recently(6days ago)and she been upset lately. The other day she was at my place crying her eyes out. I wasnt really sure how to calm her down so I made a joke thinking that would help. The joke was a bit mean now that I think about it. My friend got really at me and left crying. I tried calling her once but wont pick up. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): i think everybody on here has good advise to offer.all you gotta do is pick which one or ones best fit your needs.i once told a co-worker,who seemed a little different that day,whats wrong with you,man,you look like you just lost your best friend?then talking to another co-worker,he said, did you see Pete,his best friend was just in a car wreck and was killed!i felt like shit,and my job ended a short time after,without me having a chance to make it up,and to tell him it was a poor choice of expresions.to this day,i sorry it happened,but its been long enough ago i laugh at the whole thing.who would've known?i haven't used the expresion since that day
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 hun i lost my mum when i was 12 i cried alot obviously but my friends weren't sure how to be there for me but i told them just knowing you are there to hug me if i need it hand me a tissue if i cry is help enough.
that's what you should do for your friend apologise to her about the joke i mean people react with these things in different ways of course they do just tell her you are sorry and you just didn't know how to go about trying to make her feel better.
but all you really need to do is be there for her if she calls you for a chat you listen if she cries to you for help you help out if she's at home alone crying you go over and comfort her hug her and tell her it'll be ok she;ll not believe you of course because i've had that so many times but you just keep reassuring her that you're there for her throughout!
that's only how you can be there for her.
you can't make the pain go away but you can help her feel at ease.
the joke i don't think she is probably that bothered by it but the fact she came for comfort and you didn't know how to react that's probably why she was upset.
people who get upset immeadiately run to there friends for comfort right?
she's probably just upset that you didn't just sit with her and cuddle her for a while and just let her cry it out with you.
i think she'll be ok but just text her or something to apologise and tell her you want to go out with her like see a movie to try and take her mind off things even if it's for a while.
she's a young girl it's going to be tough.
hope this helps pop me a message if you need anything hun :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
male
reader, Rajesh Nair  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 I'll suggest, you meet your friend personally, and then apologize to her. Tell her that you never intended to hurt her, and your intention was just to make her feel better.
Words can't compensate for some losses, and her loss is surely one of them. It will surely take some time to heal. Make sure, you take out time to be with her, whenever you can.
I am sure, your sincere gestures would make her believe, that the joke was just a trivial matter, and that she cannot afford to loose a true friend like you.
All the best!!!
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A
female
reader, Deathly-Afraid  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 Trust me I've been there how I cope with deaths is making jokes about them. I don't know why I do it, it just happens. But maybe try and see her in person, tell her you didn't mean it. And if thats how you cope with deaths or somthing that happend bad tell her that. And if that dosn't work appologize till your lips turn blue. Show her you're truly sorry, thats the best way I know of.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (7 July 2009):
If she wont answer find another way to message her- internet, txt, voicemail, etc. APOLOGIZE. Then tell her you realize now how insincere your joke was but that it was not intended to hurt her in anway- call yourself an asshole if you need to (as long as she hears) make sure you make it clear that you were trying to cheer her up a little but you went about it in all the wrong ways. If she starts talking to you again remember this: she is going thru a REALLY tough time and nothing you can say will make her feel better about the situation, so just comfort her and let her cry on you if she needs to.
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