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female
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anonymous
writes: Well, I've got this 'friend' who really annoys me. She's always talking about how her brother beats her up, but she never has bruises and she smiles like it doesn't matter when she tells us, then she looks all sad and expects us to be sympathetic. Then she'll tell us tales of how her family are having huge money problems and are in loads of debt and they can't afford anything, yet she has a dog, a nice house, Sky television, just had her bedroom done up, etc. I gave her sympathy at first, and she lapped it all up, but then her tales got told more and more frequently, and each time, something extra was added on, now I'm wondering whether she does it for attention. Surely if she truly was poor, then she would be embarrassed by it and would NOT blurt it and expect sympathy the way she does?I know that the way I've written it sounds a little bit harsh, but I did give her sympathy at first until I started realising something was going on. Please, please, please don't tell me to ditch her as a mate, because apart from these countless problems she's had, she's the best mate I've ever had. I just need advice on how to sort out this problem. Thanks.
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male
reader, bhamner +, writes (11 March 2006):
Your friend obviously has issues. If this is a long-term thing (not just a phase she's going through), then you have to evaluate your friendship. If the good outways the bad, then my advice is to grit your teeth. Listening to her stories may bring her immense relief from whatever issue she is struggling with (not the faux ones in her stories, but the real deep issues that make her tell them). On the other hand, unless you are a paid therapist, you should not have to suffer through every conversation with her. If that is all she does, you may have to cut the chord at some point. A friendship is a give and take thing, only you can decide if it is balancing out.
A
female
reader, minaah +, writes (11 March 2006):
well tell the way she keeps going on about her financial problems and such are annoying you be opened and honest with her i have a best friend and if i dont like the way she presenting herself i will tell her and she doesent get mad try it ok minaah x
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A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (11 March 2006):
 i have a friend like that she a compulsive liar she can't help but to lie. ever time we meet up she's got a whole knew lie for me. she doesn't do it for sympathy, i think she does it for attention and the abliy to fit in with everyone else. she's lied about boyfriends, religion, her family, her wealth, her health, i've heard some stupud, funny, strange, huge. but to me it's just enetertain, she's a nice girl, sweet, kinda funny she just feel she needs to lie to better her life i guess. i think you should speak to your friend tell her that you like her already that there is no need lie that. speak to her about ask her why she lies. i don't think you need to ditch her as she's no endangering you or saying anything about you, so just speak to her.
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