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My friend keeps devouring my food...help!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2012)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My friend Bridget drives me absolutely crazy with her eating habits because she is almost ALWAYS sponging off my food. It doesn’t matter if she just had a meal as long as food is around she always wants a bite or a sip or a few of whatever I’m eating. I don’t consider myself to be a mean person, I don’t mind sharing my food with people but it bugs me because I don’t understand just why I need to be sharing it all the time. If it was a case where she left her lunch money or she didn’t have any money at all or something like that then sure, no problem, but it’s usually reasons like “I’m trying to save.” or “I had breakfast, so I’m not that hungry” or “I’ll eat later.” but as soon as I buy something to eat (which of course is a one man meal) she eats like half of it even after already eating or claiming not to be hungry or planning to eat soon.

She’s my friend and I don’t want to be like “Quit eating my food already...”if I did that I know she would never eat from me again and I don’t want that, I just want her to stop eating from me ALL THE TIME. She doesn’t just do it with me, she does it with EVERYBODY. The weird thing is that I always tell her when I have a problem with her but for some reason I can’t seem to tell her this one, apart from being able to hold a grudge from now till she’s in a nursing home she’s always insecure about her weight, you know girls, they all think they’re fat. I think she’s just chubby not fat.

She also has habit of staring at my food, it’s sooooooooo annoying and uncomfortable. Still I always offer her food every time I eat regardless of whether or not she has eaten and she ALWAYS accepts unless it’s a food she doesn’t like or she JUST finished eating (even then sometimes...) Most of the time when I’m finished eating I don’t feel full, I’m a guy for crying out loud, I eat a lot.

For the record, I think girls eat waaaaaaaaaaayy more than they claim they can.

Bridget offers me food sometimes if I happen not to be eating at the moment but I almost always turn down her offer, it even bothers her sometimes with her saying “You never eat from me.” I see it this way, men and women eat certain amounts of food as they vary in age. I judge how much the average woman can eat verse the average man and from there determine if it would be appropriate to have some. For example, if somebody was having a slice of pizza with a can of soda for their lunch and offered me a bite I would never say “Yes” even if I was starving, because a slice of pizza isn’t very filling and this person is obviously eating it because they ‘re hungry. Now if that same person was having a entire box of pizza and offered me a slice I would be more oblige to say yes because an average man or woman can eat much less than a box of pizza and be genuinely full.

Am I being a selfish friend? How can I let her know I don’t without her never eating from me again....trust me, she will do it.

View related questions: insecure, money

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (27 September 2012):

Ciar agony auntAs the others have said the first thing and probably the best thing you can do is stop offering her food. At least not quite so often. When you offer it frequently you send the message that you don't mind doing it.

Last sentence in your first paragraph. Do you know for a fact she's just eaten? I'm wondering if Bridget has little to no money but claims she's not hungry or has just eaten to cover that fact.

As for her staring at your food, you could call her up on it, but in a light and joking way. She may notbe aware she's doing it or that it's as noticeable as it is.

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A female reader, Plumb United States +, writes (27 September 2012):

Plumb agony auntYou should probably eat your food earlier then planned, without her seeing. If that's not an option then I'd probably eat the foods she doesn't like or just snack throughout the day. But you should really stop offering if you know you don't like it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2012):

Seriously?? You admitted that you offer her the food! Stop offering her any! I think the answer to this is pretty simple. Don't offer her any, and if she asks for a bite, just explain that you're really hungry and plan to eat all of of what you've bought.

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