A
female
age
26-29,
*jroller14
writes:My BF and I are totally in love he even asked me to marry him. I told him I would in a few years and we have planned everything out..............Now his parents are a little iffy about him and me dating. Not only b/c of that but b/c he is two years older then.And now my friend B likes him and he knows it.......he didn't want me to know something he messaged her, but she showed me anyway....he had told her "If I knew you were so much closer to my age then I would've asked you out." Which made me really upset. And even though B has a bf she told him she wants to date him......This is breaking my heart b/c I've never loved anyone so much before, should I just break up with him or should I just ignore it, hoping it will go away. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (24 February 2011):
 I'm confused. Is your bf and her messaging each other mutual texts stating that she and he would date each other if they could? Or is your friend texting your bf about being with him and it's bothering him?
From what your original post said they are displaying behavior that is completely disrespectful to you, your friendship with "B" and your relationship with your bf.
A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 I think you should ditch the friend and breakup with the boyfriend!
Your friend is not a friend and I'm sure you know this by now. A real friend will not to hook up with your boyfriend. If you keep this friend and you marry this guy you might appear in some kind of talk show "My husband is having an affair with my best friend" in your near future.
Your boyfriend should have been blunt with her. Not beat it around the bush with if you were closer to my age. He owes her nothing and should have told her straight out and than he should have told you the kind of friend you have. But he didn't he played with his answer and left room in her head for a maybe.
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female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (23 February 2011):
Sjroller14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question My BF is messaging her this stuff on Facebook........I didn't even mention it to my BF. He told one of his friends at breakfast while I was next to him............He has told her to stop before....but this it's just...justAnd B's Bf knows nothing about it because he's been in Tennessee for the past week....I'm just so lost!
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (23 February 2011):
 This is a terrible position to be in, and I know how you feel. Your story reminded me of a time when I was in high school. One of my closest friends kissed my boyfriend. Fortunately, my other friends told me about it, and both my boyfriend and the girl he kissed apologized. Ironically, her boyfriend had tried to kiss me once, but I told him no. When I told my friend what her boyfriend had done, she got mad at me! In a way, I think she kissed my boyfriend because she resented the fact that her boyfriend had tried to kiss me. I have to say, I never fully trusted my friend again.
First of all, if B were a true friend, she wouldn’t have broken the “friend code” that Largentsgirl89 spoke of. Obviously, B does not care about your feelings. If she did, this never would have happened. Do you have any other close friends? If so, I’d start spending more time with them. You need to find a new best friend… one who is trustworthy.
You need to confront B about her actions. Do not pretend as if nothing has happened. Remember, you have done nothing wrong… and she knows she is being deceitful. Say something like, “Why would you tell my boyfriend that you like him? It really hurts my feelings because I thought you were my best friend.”
As for your boyfriend, he’s no angel either. However, I do give him credit for admitting his mistake. Did you have to pry this information out of him, or did he admit this on this own? Your boyfriend’s sent the following text message to B, “"If I knew you were so much closer to my age then I would've asked you out." If I read this correctly, he told her he should have asked her out instead of you. Is that what he meant? I know you are in love with this guy, but do you really want to be with a boy who is secretly texting your best friend, and telling her he should have asked her out instead?
What about B’s boyfriend? Does he even know about any of this? Maybe you should have a talk with him, as well.
I realize this is a difficult situation, but try to stay positive. Please keep us updated! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (23 February 2011):
You're friend "B" doesn't sound like much of a friend considering she wants to date the guy that you are with, which goes against every friend "code" that I know of. Each other's boyfriends are off limits, I don't care if he is your "soul mate" it's wrong.
Your bf, depending on how old you are, is two years older then you and usually (sorry to say) at that age are only looking for the next best thing and since he is oblivious to the awesomeness that is you, get rid of him.
You don't have to put up with a bf that goes behind your back texting your "friend" messages like that and you def don't need a friend who is going to flirt back and say she wants to date him. And then show you the messages they exchanged. That is just cruel.
I really wish you the best of luck. I know it's hard to leave him now, but eventually you will be stronger for it and perhaps one day you will find the kind of love (and friend) you deserve.
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