| A
female
,
*ed_23
writes: My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me 3 months ago. I was quite upset as we had been through a lot together and the reasons I was given were not things that could be changed in any way.I decided though, that I would not waste too much time fretting and perhaps it was time to meet someone new.Sure enough I did and we have been dating for the past two months now. The new guy jumped into the girlfriend, boyfriend terminology within one week of dating - which surprised me as I have never been one to dive into a serious relationship.Two weeks ago my old boyfriend called me up and said we needed to talk.He told me that he misses me and made a huge mistake. That he loves me incredibly much and has absolutely no interest in meeting other people as he knows I am the one for him.I was completely caught off guard by this - but must admit, it was incredible to hear him say these things - I have never heard him be this open about anything before.My problem is, I love my ex imensly, and want to be with him, however am conerned as I dont want to be making a mistake.I also need to tell the new guy that we are over but am worried about hurting him, as I know he has been hurt in the past.I want to be with my ex again but am nervous that I might be giving up something good for something that could land me back with nothing.Please help!
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (22 May 2006):
 I think that you need to first of all look at why you are in a new relationship so soon after such a huge break up? Maybe you needed some more time to yourself to gain some distance from your ex and resolve your feelings about him.
It sounds like either way you are not being fair to this new guy who probably thinks that you are over your ex and concentrating on a relationship with him. It sounds like you are with him for the sake of being with someone when you say that if it doesn't work out with the ex you are left with nothing.
I think you need to decide if you want to be with this new guy. Forget the ex for a minute and consider how much you like this new bloke, why you are really in the relationship, what you see coming out of the relationship and if you are ready for a relationship.
If your heart is not in the new relationship or you are not ready or are in it for the wrong reasons I would break up with the new guy before you lead him on.
Then perhaps it might be worth taking some time to yourself to figure out how you feel about your ex and if you want to get back together etc. Clear your head and let yourself figure out what went wrong and let it sink it.
Then have a conversation with the ex and see where you both stand and see if it is worth getting back together. Remember why you broke up and decide if he is really worth it.
But you should only do this once you have decided about the new guy - don't lead him on,its really not fair.
A
female
reader, joanna44 +, writes (22 May 2006):
 i think if u really love your ex that much give it ago, i mean other wise you will spend the rest of your life wondering what could of happended, but if u go back to him play it abit cool to start off dont jump straight back in to his arms, make sure he knows its going to be different.
and as for the other guy well you'll just have to be honest with him and hope for the best, break ups are never nice but you would sooner be with the guy u love than stay with sum1 else just cos u couldnt dump him.
gd luck hun hope it al works out 4u!
x x x x
...............................
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (22 May 2006):
 If you still love your ex my friend whay on earth are you seeing someone else? You are clearly not ready for a new relationship and if you had remained single, this would not be a problem. It sounds to me that your current boyfriend is very keen on you andas you said he wil be hurt if you end it but you cnt remain with him because he will get a false sense of hope. You need to be gentle with him, tell him that you dont think things are working the way they should etc, be polite, be gentle and try to be considerate of his feelings. But as for the ex, if he broke up with you once and let you down why do you want to potentially set yourself up again to be hurt? All the best. xXx
...............................
|
