A
female
age
51-59,
*ove2ride
writes:I was in a relationship with someone for 3 years. Things didn't work out and I didn't think I loved him. When we broke up, about 2 months later, I started feeling really bad. I love this person. I was told that he was cheating on me while we together. I have asked him and he says no. But, he moved in with that girl 3 weeks later. Well, it has been over a year now and they are still together. He started calling me when someone told him that I was talking to another man in the parking lot somewhere. Well, after that we have talked everyday and he has came to my house and we meet places. I feel like a am a fool. He is with someone and he tells me he loves me. I want to try to leave him alone but it is so hard. I try and he texts me or calls me telling me what I want to hear. I want this to end because I can't take the stress of this. Also, he has a girlfriend and I wouldn't want someone to do me this way even though he did with her. I love him but it is the wrong thing to do. I need some advice to make me stop loving him or help me stop communicating with him. I don't know what to do! I am so torn.Help!!
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broke up, has a girlfriend, moved in, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): You are doing really well, just keep on ignoring his messages and one day he will get the message!!!!!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 It is better to keep the door shut and locked tightly.
Answering him would be like opening the door ajar.
Giving him some false hopes
and the enemy may creep inside by hook or crook.
Just ignore all his phone calls and text.
Just delete them and don't read them.
He will soon get tired and give up.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 No, I wouldn't call him (too personal). He is going to wonder why you're not responding so you need to say something to him. Text back and say words to the effect "It's better we cut ties as long as you have a girlfriend, not fair on any of us. I won't be responding to any more of your texts, take care."
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, love2ride +, writes (4 March 2008):
love2ride is verified as being by the original poster of the question He is still texting me- He is saying I must be busy- Do I need to say something as far as its over or just ignore all his texts and calls?
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A
female
reader, Just.me  +, writes (4 March 2008):
Good girl... Keep it up. I found the first week of NO CONTACT the worst. It does get better and you tend to look at the relationship differently. Maybe it wasn't what you thought it was.
I'm proud of you, come back and talk to us if you need strength. I know this site has given me so much strength when I have been down in the dumps.
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A
female
reader, love2ride +, writes (4 March 2008):
love2ride is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have made it through the whole day without talking to him. I feel good but a little sad. I will have to take this day by day and I know it will get better. The only problem is when I see him on the road, my heart beats so fast and I feel weird. I know in time this will go away. Thank you all again. I have to be strong and not give in.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (3 March 2008):
Well done you! If you need to talk to anyone then you know we're here for you. You deserve to be treated far better than the way he's treating you.
~Eve~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): That the spirit! Today is new beginning, so dont look back, just move forward, we are all beside you and helping you.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, love2ride +, writes (3 March 2008):
love2ride is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your suggestions. Today is a new day and I will not answer any texts or phone calls. I will be strong and think of what he has done to me in the past. Thank you- I will keep you posted. I will also buy the book How to mend a broken heart. I hope this book will help also. Thank you again.. I need all the help I can get!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (3 March 2008):
He is doing to this girl EXACTLY what he did to you! Don't be used like this and let history repeat itself. You are only an ego boost to him and he wants to control you. Don't fall for his charm either, you KNOW he's telling you what you want to hear, you've already admitted that. Steer well clear of him and remember that he probably says the same to his girlfriend. He doesn't love you, not even close! If he did then why is he with someone else? Keep saying that to yourself when you feel weak. I'm afraid your ex is a player. Take the upper hand and tell him it's over, once and for all! Don't fall for his charm because that's all it is... CHARM and if he wasn't saying this to you he'd find someone else. I feel sorry for his girlfriend.
~Eve~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Dont think of all the good times, try and put them out of your head. Remember he left you for someone else. If you love someone then you dont do that. Run and keep running and dont look back.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Just.me +, writes (3 March 2008):
You need to stop communicating with him. It is the only way. I agree that he will always have a girl on his arm ALWAYS, maybe even 2-3.You need to move on. I know you love him but he is disrespectful, a liar and a cheat. I would recommend a book called "How to mend a broken heart", it really helped me to fall out of love with my cheating ex. I also liked "It's called a break up because it is broken"Good luck, I've been where you have been and KNOW your pain. It will get better I promise. Remember NO CONTACT.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (3 March 2008):
When you think of him , just demonise him. He is a cheater, lier, untrustworthy, cold, cruel, ugly , etc.
You will get turned off when you think of all those negative things about him.How can you be so dumb to love a guy like him?
Cut off all bonds and communications with him.It would be easier to move on if you do that.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 "He started calling me when someone told him that I was talking to another man in the parking lot somewhere"
I think this is the key statement in your post. As soon as he found out that someone else was interested in you his propriety instinct took hold and he decided no other man should have you.
When you meet up with him think about how when he leaves you that he will go home to another woman who he will have sex with. Keep thinking this and then ask yourself why on earth do you still allow this man to control your life.
Pity his new girlfriend he is cheating on her as well. He's not worthy of anyone, but he is of a type and they never leave their house without a girl on their arm.
Be brave and tell him to take his cheating arse out of your life.
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