A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up about a month ago or so and after a while apart I started getting all these mixed signals from her. We have to see each other a couple times a week due to something neither of us can avoid.She has been flirting with me, teasing me, etc. then when we are away I don't hear anything from her except for the occasional text with some random question or something. Then the next time I see her she is all flirty again.After a few weeks of flirting I decided I would try and ask her out to lunch for a Friday on Friday morning just to hang. no pressure to talk or anything. I don't want her to think I want to talk about the relationship. She said she was busy, which could be real. I didn't give her very much time to think on it or anything. Who knows? I said OK that fine maybe later. She said OK. then it was back to flirting.So I wait another week and tried again today. I asked her if she would like to grab a bite or something Thursday afternoon after an appointment I know she has or Friday if she was not busy. She said Oh, I'm kinda busy with appointments. I cant. I acted fine said its OK, she said I'm sorry, I said its OK I understand, she said she was so sorry again. I again said it was OK, the she apologized again. I said it fine maybe we can do it later. She said OK.Whats with all the confusion and what's with the apologizing?(considering I didn't look upset when she said no)Why would she keep saying OK when I say maybe later instead of something like I don't think that's a good idea or No?
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female
reader, CanGal  +, writes (29 September 2011):
the way I see it there are two possibilities:1. She doesn't think she's flirting, she sees herself and merely being friendly; or2. Her flirting is a way of keeping you interested while not having to fully commit to a relationship with you.I think she's hoping that you two can still be friends and I'm sure she likes to know that you're still available to her if she ever should change her mind and want to be with you. When you ask her out, she makes excuses as to why she can't because she probably knows that that would be a step too far ... if she went with you it would definitely give you the impression that she wants to renew your relationship and she's clearly trying avoid being accused of stringing you along. She's saying "OK" when you say "maybe later" because it's easier than coming straight out and telling you no.If you are still interested in her my advice would be to stop asking her out, ignore her flirting, do whatever business you have to do together each week and just go on about your life as a happy, single guy. If she's interested she'll eventually ask *you* out. :)
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