A
female
age
30-35,
*uphrasia
writes:hai everyone.Am in a confusing situation.My ex boyfriend and i were together for 11 months,we broke up 4 months ago.We are at the same university.i broke up with him after i found out that he cheated on me when we closed school.The girl he cheated on me with was from overseas and was in the country for only a month,shes is back in her country now.I was very heartbroken and angry, my emotions were going out of control.I said rearly bad,degrading and hurtful things to him when breaking up.He begged me to take him back and i refused because i was hurting so much.After 2 days he stopped begging and he said that it was ok.I failed to go on without him for a few days so i told him that i forgave him and that i was willing to take him back.i meant every word i said.he said he was confused and hurting from the hurtful things i said so he asked me to give him time to think about it.i waited for 2 days and couldn't take it anymore,i mean he is the one who cheated,and he should be glad that i forgave him.i didn't like the way he turned things around.So i told him to get lost and that it was over for good.And then to my shock,3 days after this, he starts dating another girl just next door to me.Its now been 4 months.For the past few weeks when i run into him (same school, same campus and same church)which happens a lot,he says he wants to talk to me.He says it was just sex (with the first girl he cheated on me with)and besides she was going to leave the country.I have never asked him about the girl next door, i don't want to hurt more than i already do.So now he says he misses me and that am a good girl.When he sees me with others guys he becomes very jelous.he acts like he is regretting the breakup. The past 4 months have the hardest,i was so broken.But now i know those days are behind me.i am finally putting myself together.i have met new people.am enjoying life again.And he starts coming back in my life to mess things again.THe problem is that i know i still have feeling for him.i dont know what to do and think anymore.i know he is still sleeping the the girl next door and he is still communicating to the girl overseas.Am so mad him right now.I can't figure out what he is up to.I pray everyday that i should not run into him, bt being in the same university doesn't help.Am so confused right now.plz help me.
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broke up, cheated on me, heartbroken, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, euphrasia +, writes (29 September 2011):
euphrasia is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks alot for your advice..at the back of my head i know i deserve better than this.there are alot of guys interested in me now that they know am single.am moving on and making progress.i think i will give my ex a piece of my mind when i see him.it seemed had at first,but four months has made it easier.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 September 2011):
 He can say all he wants, but what he DOES is dating the girl next door and contacting the foreign girl. If he were serious about wanting you back, he'd make sure to be free and available , if nothing else, to show you that he means business.
Plus, if I were you I'd think hard if I really want this kind of guy as a boyfriend. "once a cheater always a cheater " does not have to be necessarily true, and people can make mistakes and then repent. But he does not sound very regretful, he seems the kind of guy who thinks that if it's "just sex " then it does not count, or if it is just a temporary fling with someone leaving soon, then it's no big deal. How do you know he'd never meet again another " just for sex " or " leaving soon " girl ?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 September 2011):
 I think you can still ask him whether he is trying to get over you, and if it's possible to do so with the new girl. Underneath there may be a lot of anger, so try to talk slowly and calmly (prepare a script if possible) because your purpose of talking to him is to either find closure or patch up. You have to tell him you would have no intention of getting back with him as long as he's with the girl next door.
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