A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need advice.I am married with two kids and have been divorced from my ex husband for about 5 years, thing is i have just found out that my ex has just had a child with someone else and i have a very un-describable feeling about it all.I want to be happy for him but i do not know if i feel jealousy, i know i do feel hurt and i thought that i had moved on from this marriage to him. Should i go and see a councellor or will this feeling pass? He left me for a different woman at the time and i do still feel a bit hurt about that but i am mostly over it.I have told my husband about how i am feeling and he is standing by me (If i want to go to councelling). Thing is tho i know i am happy with my family and wouldn't change a thing but when i think of my ex and his new child i feel sick and my heart beats loudI really need to talk, i dont want to live in the past but there is a certain something that i can't let go of!!!!Please, anyone help?XXXXXXX
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divorce, jealous, my ex, want to be happy Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for advising me, i have just enrolled to councelling and hopefully i can get this behind me, thank you so much xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses, they are greatly appreciated xx
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A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (11 October 2007):
 I see a therapist. It has been an invaluable experience and totally helping me with where I am in my mess.
I go in and talk. She doesn't give me advice; it's more like she confirms what I say to her, using different words. I know that does something in my head. Sometimes, after one of us speaks, the other one asks for another explanation, to make sure it's understood.
Then, until I meet her the following week, *stuff* happens inside. I turn corners. I understand things. I release things. It's amazing.
Sometimes, when I post here, I realize that whatever I am saying to someone else, applies to my situation, as well.
I read articles on line, in magazines; I read books.
Yeah, I'm looking for answers, too. Many of us are. Keep looking, keep an open heart and an open mind. I think you'll find an answer, or peace ... it will come to you.
There is a zen saying: knowledge is learning something new everyday; wisdom is letting go of something everyday.
Here is to you, seeking knowledge and wisdom. Best wishes
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (11 October 2007):
 Yes, go to counseling. Go alone. These are issues you need to work through by yourself. It's nice that you have a man who understands your trauma, and stands by you but visit with the counselor alone. That way you can talk freely without hurting your new hubby's feelings. You may think you're over your ex, but you're not. Otherwise you wouldn't have any feelings about this new baby. It could be that you were hoping the woman he left you for, wouldn't work out, but now that they've had a baby, it seems pretty permanent. Also, you may have jumped into a new marriage yourself, before you gave yourself time to heal. All of this can be sorted out in your sessions and it will be money well spent! Good luck.
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