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My ex has a new girlfriend but still wants to sleep with me! Does he really care for her?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 December 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *omegurl writes:

I recently just got out of a 7 year relationship with my boyfriend. I cheated on my boyfriend with a co-worker of mine and he ended our relationship. Its been 6 months since our relationship ended and he is currantly in a new relationship. He got with his new girlfriend a few weeks after the breakup. They have been together for 5 months now. We have been sleeping to together since the breakup. He tells me that he still loves me and the reason he still sleeps with me is because he is still drawn to me. but then he'll say he feels bad after we sleep together and wants to be faithful to his girlfriend and that he'll never have sex with me again, but he always ends up sleeping with me. He calls me everyday. He tells me that he wishes i didn't cheat because even though he loves me he can't get back with me because there is no trust and he thinks I'll cheat again. The other night he told me that he was falling in love with his new girlfriend.

But my question is. Is it even possible for him to love his new girlfriend if he has been sleeping with me ever since he got with her? Is this a rebound? Does he like us both? Or is her using her to get over me? or does he really care for her. I am so confused and have never been in a situation like this before. I'm hurting because I now that after he has sex with me he is just going back to her and I still love him. This break up has been very hard. We have a child together. Can someone please shed some light into my life.

View related questions: cheated on my boyfriend, co-worker

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012):

I was married for 10 years and I have three children from my previous marriage.

My ex husband was a mothers boy. Mom first wife for sex and kids off the radar. He was a weed smoker and extremely lazy but was wonderful in bed.

Anyhow we divorced I moved on and got remarried. I am again seperated bc my current husband couldnt keep his hands to himself and plus my ex husband was telling him why our relationship ended when they spoke on the phone intitially.

It was horrible. Anyway my current husband never forgot it.

I did cheat on my ex husband and my curent husband never saw me doing anything or suspected me of doing anything but bc I am really attractive my husband was really intimidated by my beauty and couldnt take other guys looking at me in public.

Anyway now that I am seperated from my husband my ex husband of 10 years has come back into the picture for sex at least once during the week.

He has a baby on the way from another woman but when I ask him how he is going to handle this he simply states she dont have to know.

He says their relationship is good.

She has her own house. My ex has his own place as well. My ex is always calling me at night talking sexual and I think to my self why is he not talking to the girl.

Its mind boggling.

I just think that he has yet to let me go and he is comfortable as long as we allow it to go on. When I was married to him it was always about sex never about bills, buying a house, investments, goals for the future nothing just sex never anything about the kids or anything.

I'm lost. I just need to tell him to bite the dust.

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A female reader, hendrix United States +, writes (13 July 2010):

no, he is using her if he is still sleeping with you, nowa- days men have alot going on with women, they just about get what they want, sex and money. now whether he loves you or her. it goes like this everybody always says to get someone who will treat you better, while i say where? there's not a perfect relationship going on right now. marriage's are breaking up, we have cheaters on both sides of the fench, baby moma drama, 300 women to one man the list can go on and on. keep using your head and you can figure it out your self. just wait a while nobody can tell you what you can find out for yourself. now i would say he wants to be with you but! he also wants this new girl for the new flavor. it will last till he gets tired of her in about two to eight months when they find out the other side of each other that they didn't see at first.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009):

My ex-husband and I have never stopped seeing each other. He recently let a new girlfriend move in with him. We have 2 children together. It has always been my dream to be a family again. Now he is coming over to see me and being nicer than ever to me. He still wants to sleep with me but then goes home to her. I have been faithful to him and am heartbroken. Should I give up? I've told him to stay away from me but he won't take "no" for an answer and I am weak when it comes to him.

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A female reader, Weasel Ann United States +, writes (31 December 2008):

Why did you cheat on him in the first place? It sounds like there wwere problems before. You have feelings and love for him because of the amount of time you have been together. Let him go! Stop letting yourself get hurt. This sounds like a very "diseased" relationship. Let it die now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008):

I have the exact same problem. I was with my ex for 5 years and engaged for 2 of them. I called my wedding off because i was scared and wasn't 100% sure. 5 months later he is seeing another girl and it's been 5 months since they've been together. I told him 2 months after he started seeing her to QUIT talking to me while he is with her and to ONLY contact me if it's to talk about getting back together. He has sent me texts, he sent me over a $200 gift card with my brother for xmas. I tried to give it back but he wouldn't take it back and was going on about how he still wants to take care of me, he thinks about me all the time and how he knows what we had was special but that things are going great with this girl and he wants to make sure of things. He said he isn't making any decisions for a while and for that reason i told him not to talk to me then because it kills me to know he is with someone else so let me move on!! Since he's been with her, he's slept with me twice and kissed me numerous times (the sleeping together was before i decided to take myself out of the picture because it wasn't helping anyone) On xmas day when i tried to give him back his gift, he grabbed me and intensly started kissing me. I feel for you because i ask myself the same question...."does he really love her????" My brother told me that when a man loves a woman, then he doesn't give a crap about his ex or sends her gifts. This girl has no clue about his feelings for me, so u honestly have to feel a little sorry for her. He's cheated on her!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008):

Personally, i doubt he loves either of you. You two broke up... why are you still sleeping with him? Not only does it make you think of questions such as 'doe he Really love his new girlfriend?" but its telling him "Sure we're over and we have nothing meaningful anymore.. but you can still Have my body"

You deserve better than this. Stop giving him your body. A break up is called a break up, because thats what it is. You two are No Longer.

Move on and find a guy who will respect you and respects himself!

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