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I'm very ticklish, any way to get over this so I can enjoy his touches?

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Question - (20 December 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, *alyov writes:

My boyfriend and I have been trying to do things the past couple of weekends. I am a virgin so I really know nothing, him on the other hand is not.

I would still like to remain a virgin but I will let him do other things to me.

The thing I have a problem with is that I am very ticklish.

He can't do anything to me without me cracking up or squirming. He can't kiss my neck, touch my brest, my belly, or hardly do much of anything.

Is there a way to get over this so I can enjoy his touches?

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A male reader, Kitsune United States +, writes (9 March 2009):

The funny thing about tickling is that you cannot tickle yourself. This can help you avoid being tickled by your boyfriend. Place your hand over his, your palm over the back of his hand, and guide his hand to a spot you want touched. Then you move his hand so that it does what you want it to do. There is a very good chance that it will not feel ticklish when you are in control and your hand is over his. Gradually you may be able to allow him to do more and more on his own, while your hand is still over his. Eventually he should be able to touch you more freely.

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A male reader, MetalMan United Kingdom +, writes (20 December 2008):

MetalMan agony aunti believe that the evolutionary responce to ticklishness (if thats even a word) is about insects (especally spiders) and how dangrous they were so there was a specialist responce but thats conpletely irrelevent here.

i agree with bitterblue, get him to say exactually what hes going to do then he should do it confidently and firmly (but not hard). try to avoid light contact like brushing against you until your ready for it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008):

As we know, people are ticklish when someone else tickles them and not when they tickle themselves and this is due to the surprise effect, I would think. I'm not sure to what extent this can be controlled, but if you vary the way you tickle yourself, from very mildly to aggressively, you will find that you cannot be bothered. This is probably related to the fact you know you are in total control (you are expecting it) and which spot you are touching. Maybe you should speak to your boyfriend and PLAN what parts of your body he will touch (that are more ticklish), you can start by massaging that region yourself and then let him do it in the manner you have shown him previously and under your guidance, getting used to his touch. My partner's sensitive area is the soles of his feet but I noticed his feet are not ticklish (at all) if I start by scrubbing to lessen that ticklish feeling and apply a certain pressure. It is important that you know you will not be touched with intention of being tickled, this will help you relax and hopefully trust him and surrender control. There is a biological explanation attached to the ticklish feeling: some nerve endings at the skin's surface are activated. The psychological, I'm not sure: I am not sure to what extent the tickling is related to the feeling of losing control or to situations you perceive as upsetting or that make you nervous. In this case, the problem would be solved at least partially by losing all inhibitions and confiding more and more in him and in his ability to please you.

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A female reader, Bibby Nigeria +, writes (20 December 2008):

its ur nature. so dont get bothered both it. for u still remaining a virgin is not predictable cos as soon as u stat getting used to his touches, u get arouse and will want to sex. all the best in life!!!!

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