A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so I have a bit of an insecurity and a recent boyfriend who dumped me over it has made me feel so much worse about it.I am asian and I do have some excess body hair. my back and stomach are quite hairy. I pretty much have some hair all over my body and its something i get so embarrassed about and always feel insecure if i wear a slightly low cut top etc.but a guy i was going out with for a couple of months dumped me when he saw me naked. he said he found it unnattractive and i am left feeling like i am ugly. I know i am not totally ugly but i feel it now.any of you guys able to offer me some reassurance and advice?thank youxx.
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female
reader, Placebogirl +, writes (12 December 2011):
 That was such a horrible thing to do. There isnt really an excuse for that, and you will be better off with someone who can appriciate you for who you are.Eveyone has hair over most of their body, some are fortunante and its blonde and they have little of it, but that doesn't mean someone should judge you for it! I have very pale skin and fairly dark hair on my arms and a little on my stomach that I'm quite embarressed of so i use hair removal cream. However anything you do should be because you want to, not to forfil anyone elses expectations. As 'person12345' said, its unfair for men to think women should be completly hairless when some make no effort whatsoever. A boyfriend should appriciate your body and love you the way you are. You deserve better!
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 And how much hair did HE have? Was he running out to have it all ripped out? What a jerk. This whole idea that women are supposed to be hairless while men get to be hairy is sexist and oppressive. We all have hair, don't let some misogynist tell you something is wrong with you for being human.
But if you feel you really have excess hair, you might want to go to a doctor to get your hormones checked out and make sure you don't have any imbalances.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (12 December 2011):
If you haven't already, you NEED to speak with a doctor. Having body hair is natural for women who are from certain ethnic backgrounds. (I'm half Italian, and I'm covered in hair. It isn't extremely noticeable to others because it is blonde, but I am still self-conscious about it.). Having an excess of body hair could signify a hormonal imbalance especially if it is coarse and if it also appears on your face.
I am not trying to excuse what he said to you. What he said and especially his timing was disgusting, misguided, cruel, and inexcusable. He is a superficial person. Do NOT take his words to heart. When you find a man who loves you for WHO you are, he will be devoted to you...all of you...even what you see as your imperfections. True love transcends physical appearances and imperfections.
Still, if you believe the amount of hair you have is excessive, please consult a physician just to make sure it isn't caused by an easily treatable hormonal imbalance. If everything checks out once you see a doctor, you can ask for a referral to a dermatologist or a cosmetic surgeon for a more permanent hair thinning or hair removal solution to improve your confidence about your body.
Finally, if you have an eating disorder (you don't mention one and I'm not saying you have one), simply do not eat very much food, or are very very thin, your body can be covered in a fine coat of hair called languo. I've had an eating disorder in the past and the languo goes away when you begin to adhere to an increased calorie diet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): If your bf doesn't like you for you it is his lost and you should let him make you feel how he has x when you meet someone who truely cares about you he won't worry what you look like or anything he love stuff about you that you don't like about yourself x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): People can be such jerks. Yes, you can remove the hair through various means, but really, if he can't love you the way you are then he's not worth the tears. There will be someone who understands that this is your body, take it or leave it. I have take care of a few things like that for my guy, but it was because *I* wanted to do it, not because he pressured me into it or because he said I was any less beautiful because of it. Chalk this guy up to being a stupid jerk and who will get old and wrinkly and one day the young hotties won't see him as the god he thinks he is. Do what you want to with your body, but only do it for you.
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