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male
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*hredordie
writes: Hey guys, Thanks for taking the time to answer all of my questions, you've all been hugely helpful. Anyway, here's another:I'm trying now my hardest to not contact my ex girlfriend, but here's my problem and it's actually a little annoying to me. Sunday through Wednesday she doesn't seem to make any attempts to get talk to me but Thursday through parts of the weekend she'll talk to me and ask me if I want to grab lunch or dinner, what do I do? Is this just because her new guy is not available? How do I deal with this situation?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (31 March 2006):
 Don't answer your phone or let it go onto an answer phone or voicemail. Do not be used and that is exactly what she is doing.
If she is free from Thursday through till Saturday then the new man is either seeing someone else or presumably working. I would imagine that if you go out to lunch you possibly pick up the tab.
Get yourself out with friends and let her know there may be a new woman in your life so that you can't always hook up with her on these days that she suggests.
Even if you are sitting at home for a quiet evening just think about yourself right now and do all the things that you want to do. You don't have to be the shoulder for your ex now as you are no longer together.
It is never fair to use an ex and at the moment I think that is what she is doing. I obviously don't know the reasons for you splitting but you did split for a reason and it should be left at that. You can remain friends without animosity.
I was with my ex for almost 20 years until last June and we have a 5 year old daughter together and we work with one another every single day as we have our own business but believe me even though we have a lot of contact which is pretty unusual for ex's it is only the business that makes us. I will not go overboard like I did when we were together in a relationship as everything has changed now so if he starts putting his foot down or anything I just tell him to go home to his rented place and I actually get the control of the remote control now so there is definitely life after the ex. He sees new woman and after dipping my toe in the water I felt that I needed time to find me again and the same could be said for you.
Give yourself time to clear your head of your ex and do all things you enjoy for a change and don't feel like you have to see your ex when she suggests it. You are an independant man now and the world is your oyster.
Good luck and I am normally around as are most of the others on the site.
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