New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244974 questions, 1084346 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My estranged husband uses the children to get at me. Do I stop including him when it comes to our daughters behaviour?

Tagged as: Family, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 September 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, *obme writes:

Well another upadate on some of the issues I have been faced.I told my ex on Tuesday that my oldest wants to stay here with me and after that he BLEW, fighting with me allday.Serious text messages that were horriffic to me.I had to work nites that evening which was fine so that harrassment to end.Well I came home and discovered that my youngest had a note from her teacher from that day.She had hit another student after he said he didnt like her.She acted out badly at school.I explained to her teacher as school started that I was having some behaviorial problems with her since she came home from her dads, my ex.Today she starts therapy, thankfully for her resntment towards my ex.I want her to heal.

Well I called my ex yesterday to tell him about our daughters problem she had at school.Well he refused to answer so I texted him the note I had to sign.He called the school and REFUSED to talk to me about this.I was so upset that we are BOTH parents and I am the one raising her..he isnt.I told him we have to co parent her together to help her.He has done alot of this in the past not answering when he knows its about our daughter.He had no right texting me horrible things directly towards me and hurting me like that.My mom even said its stalking like he harrasses me off and on and when I need to speak to him about our daughter he will blame me or not talk to me about her period.If he even responds back is hardly a solution to him.

I am at a loss here..do I stop including him into my daughters life? He isnt helping the solution but hurting it alot.Why does he go off on me when he isnt happy with a decision? He claims he is so happy without all of us but harrasses me till I am miserable.Then will stop all contact and then after awhile will start contacting me once again.How am I supposed to move on and be happy with this all around?He is using the children to hurt me alot.I dont understand.

View related questions: move on, my ex, period, stalking, text

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Gemini1506 United Kingdom +, writes (22 September 2007):

First i think maybe your ex may be hurting your daughter for in some way because children unless something as influenced wont act like that.

Secondly give him an ultimatium tell him start acting right and be more involved or just see the kids

It wouyld be his choice then and it should make him realise he needs to start being a father

x

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (21 September 2007):

rcn agony auntWhat do you feel is in the best interest of your children? That's the issue, it's not including or not including, it's about the kids.

Why are his visits damaging to the mental health of your child? Is it related to the visits or because of your divorce its self?

Him not working as a team needs to stop. He's not only hurting you, but will end up hurting his child too.

After reading what you wrote, I don't want to comment directly on what you should do. There's a child involved and any decision that affects your child is yours to make.

I will mention what I would do. I have four children, and if this happened to any of my kids, I would seek a custody modification, including a "no contact order" for you, due to the harassment, and supervised visitation for him due to a possability of causing mental impairment.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "My estranged husband uses the children to get at me. Do I stop including him when it comes to our daughters behaviour?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312796000071103!