| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My Mum and dad split up after 39yrs marriage. I left home at 19 to join the forces and never had a good relationship with my Dad. I am now divorced with one child my Mum has now met someone. I feel very guilty if i am not in contact with my Dad for a while. He has got a problem with body odour and very rarely if at all washers and really smells. He has got no sense of smell and it is an embarrasing subject to bring up. My Daughter loves her granddad but now talks about the smell. I also can't relax when I talk to him because he repeats things often out of context and also has a bad temper. Hannah has never met her other Grandad and I wanted to see my Dad. I would appreciate an outsiders opinion.
View related questions:
divorce, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): Questions like these aren't easy, becasue it's not easy to tell someone they smell without hurting them, but it IS possible, you just need to do it in a subtle way.
When you go in the house, say something like:
Hmmm, there's a funny smell in here.
And then spray some air freshener round. Do that everytime you go round there. If he doesn't get the hint, then you'll have to break the ice. Gently say:
Dad, I don't want to hurt you, but I think you'd rather me telling you nicely, than someone else telling you horribly. But I think you need to shower/bath more often because everytime I come here there is a smell of body odour.
If you keep it gentle and to the point, then maybe he'll come around. OK, maybe he'll be annoyed at first, but when he realises that you were just trying to save him some embarressment he should be OK. Just make sure your daughter's not around when you say it.
If he doesn't listen to you, then it just means you'll have to keep telling him until he listens.
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (7 March 2006):
 Look you have to tell him and you have to do this soon befroe you and your daughter lose contact with him because of this problem....yes he gets angry, but can you imagine how the poor man would feel if he found out everyone was avoiding him because he had BO?
Be a man and a friend to your poor parent and tell him when nobody else is around and give him a chance to sort out his personal hygiene before he loses his family.x
...............................
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (7 March 2006):
 Really difficult one this as your dad needs to see his grandaughter as much as you need to see him.
He has no sense of smell but he should know that he needs to wash daily as im sure that is what he has been doing for most of his life.
Looks to me like he could be suffering from depression which is making him not care about his personal hygene so much and if depressed he may not care about what he says or follow conversation easily and in a lucid way.
You need to try and convince him to see his GP, if your relationship is such that you cannot do this, then ask someone else like your mum or any brothers or sisters, family or friends that see him and can talk to him.
The divorce or just the fact of your mum having a new man in her life could have started this depression or it could be something going wrong physically.
See what you can do to get him checked out but if possible still allow your daughter to visit him as to not will make him even more depressed.
...............................
|
