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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok, so my ex boyfriend was a great bf, until he dumped me for another girl (who i knew he liked)then lied about it. we haven't spoken since the night we broke up. we were on friend terms at the time, but that was when i believed that he was breaking up with me because he thought i was too young, not because he had found someone else. Although i'm no longer in contact with him, we still share a circle of friends, and my friends keep telling me that he wants to talk to me again and be friends with me. I don't know what to do. People keep telling me he was planning on talking to me online or texting me, but i'm not sure how to handle it. I still love him more than i've ever loved anyone in my life, but maybe talking to him again would just screw my head up even more because i still want to be his girlfriend but can't be. since i found out he no longer hates me (he decided that i must hate him therefore he said he hates me back, apparently) i've been a lot happier, especially the thought of talking to him again. the situation seems to have pulled me out of depression. Is it safe for me to become friends with him?
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Keep in mind that he dumped you for another girl, and then lied about it. That should be enough to not allow him the honor of your friendship.
I am sorry to hear that you are depressed over someone who is so not worth your time or energy. He does not deserve the love you feel for him.
I would stay as far away from him as possible, and would not allow him the pleasure of your company. Keep a circle of good, caring, positive friends around you for support. Tell yourself that you will never allow anyone to bring negativity into your life ever again. Being his friend will only cause you more grief, and he is not worth the risk.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): Probably best to stay away. Being friends after a break-up only works when you're just not in love anymore. And even then it's tough.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (7 March 2006):
 My advice is to try and stay away from him until you know you can be JUST friends. If you are still in love with him, hanging out with him is not a good idea because it can leave you feeling like you want more and that can be a worry because it can leave you feeling hurt and rejected.
I suggest taking some more time before you consider being friends.
Good luck, take care
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