A
female
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anonymous
writes:My boyfriend's daughter who is 7 years old told me she wants to know why her mom and my boyfriend got separated. She doesn't understand why everyone keep telling her they will explain to her when she is 17-18. The truth is her mom had an affair with another guy and decided to leave my boyfriend for this guy. The girl is now living with the mom, mom's boyfriend (not married yet), and their new born baby. I know it's not my place to say anything, but do you think that's fair to the kid? She sometimes wishes her mommy and daddy is still together.
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male
reader, duce00  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Ditto on the last few responses. I have some experience here too. I havnt told my daughter everything about her mother and its considerably worse than your situation. Kids dont need that stress. They do need somthing other than to be stone walled and they shouldnt be lied to. In my case I explain a little and tell her that I wont ever lie to her but that I wont talk to her about things she is just too young to understand either. I know that wont last forever and I expect a day of reckoning but that day hasnt arrived quite yet.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): no no she is farrr farrr to young to understand and knwo about affairs. you need to just tell her that mummy and daddy had a little fall out and decided it would be best to have a break from each other. good luckhope i helped x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hi
I would steer away from the gorey details at this age, for sure!
There is no way she should be told her mum had an affair. Shes 10. She doesnt need to know. Im not saying we should wrap our children in cotton wool, but really....
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): No, don't tell her that about her mother. She is too young for 1 thing and another, it's not your place to tell her. Have her father tell her that it had nothing to do with her, just that mommy and daddy decided to go their sep. ways. If she tells her mother that you told her what happened, that is going to cause a whole bunch of trouble that you don't need. I think waiting until she's 17 or 18 isn't necessary however, I feel that when I was 10 I was emotionally mature enough to understand what happened bet. my folks (my mom cheated on and left my dad) but every child is different. You will be able to tell when she's mature enough to know the whole story.
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (28 August 2007):
 I, personally don't think she'd understand if she was told the truth. I'm 19 and still don't know why my parents split when I was four. I believe it was just one of those things though.I'd say tell a white lie and say they went their seperate ways. Then when she is older she could know the real reason.Telling her now might make her a bit confused and possibly rather emotional.Good luck though.Pete
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 She's far too young to understand the dynamics that led to their split, even if she is asking. You might make a comment that sometimes people make better mommies and daddies when they live apart, but I wouldn't go much further than that because it's really their place to deal with this delicate topic. Good luck!
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