A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend likes watching porn and wants a mistress to punish him,he will only touch me and want to make love to me after he has watched porn or some one being punished,i thought he loved me for who i am, please help,
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for helping me, maybe i may it once,to see how it goes,thank you again
A
female
reader, HappyPlace +, writes (3 July 2012):
 "he will only touch me and want to make love to me after he has watched porn or some one being punished".
If you encourage him down this path by joining in you will be on a rocky road to no-where. The guy has a big problem in that he can only get turned on by watching porn or being punished. He's done too much porn by the look of it and now it's the only way he can get aroused. I'd be mightily pissed off if I was in your situation, in fact I'd have left him by now if he wasn't up for compromise in any form. In my mind, joining in would be like taking heroin with a junkie, I really don't think this is any different. Can you talk to your bf, with an open heart and explain how you feel. If he's not prepared to change, then you'll have to leave. If you don't, this whole thing will mess with your mind and leave you feeling crushed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): What more incentive do you need to punish him? Just grab a whip and give him smacks for watching porn.
OP he's far less likely to indulge in his fantasy alone if you'll actually do it with him instead.
If that's not your thing and you can't see yourself doing it then you have to talk to him. See if you can reach a compromise on this with him. It's nothing about the way you are, it's more about what he's into. If he wasn't happy with who you are then he wouldn't be with you, so it's nothing to do with that.
I personally would give it a try, start off with light stuff and only things that I'm comfortable doing.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I am sure he does love you for who you are and you should not take this so personally, I know it is easy for me to say but believe me he does not mean this as a personal threat.
Everybody is different when it comes to sexual pleasure, and his thing is that he likes punishment, it turns him on in the bedroom. Everybody has fantasies and my guess is that this is his.
You both need to talk about this and come to a compromise. Tell him how it makes you feel when he will only touch you after he watches porn. Make him see that it is effecting you and making you feel like he does not want you. Maybe you can then agree to him that instead of him watching porn maybe you and him can do some role play in the bedroom and make things more exciting.
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