A
female
age
26-29,
*wkward
writes:Please don't judge me. I am 18 yrs old. Im a very quiet and shy person. I have only had sex with one guy which is my boyfriend. My bf and i have sex alot and its always the pain that turns me on. My favorite is the neck biting. I like for him to bite my neck really hard to the point where it makes me want to scream and i still want it harder. I always want him to make me feel pain. He likes to make me feel good. I like when he grabs my arms and squeeze them and scratch me. I just really like the aching and burning sensation. I suck on my lip really hard at night ( i only do it at night because my lip swells ) i cant do it anymore though:/ so i just bite my lips to the point where it seems like im trying to chew them. My bf doesn't like making me feel pain, even when i tell him i like it. those are the only things i like. We've never went any further than that. He asked me was i a masochist? From my knowledge, i thought a masochist was someone who likes to be degraded, whipped, choked, etc. So thats my question to you. Am i a masochist?
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 June 2013):
 Agree that yes you are a masochist as you derive sexual pleasure from pain.
if your boyfriend is not a sadist (deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on someone) then the relationship may be doomed.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): I would say you are. But their is nothing wrong with it, I love to feel some type of pain even humiliation. My BF is not like me he like to be sensual in sex but as he knows I love it. every so often at least once or twice a week we do it my way.
What I'm trying to say is when one sexual partner likes what we do and the other doesn't there needs to be compromise between them (you and your BF) it's not fair for you to expect him to do it all the time. You uave to have sex the way he likes it to. It's all apart of being in a relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 June 2013):
 First off, being a masochistic is not mainly about degradation. The definition is, an individual deriving pleasure and gratification from receiving physical pain and/or humiliation.
So from what you write, yes I would venture a guess of yes, you ARE a masochist.
You BF on the other hand is not a sadist nor a masochist, and therefore is having a hard time understanding you (when it comes to pain/pleasure) and maybe not that well matched in this respect.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): You've clearly never seen the film "Secretary"with James spader ;) - watch it, it's a funny, quirky film that artistically and honestly portrays machochism- I recommend it to everyone! :)
It basically depicts how there's nothing wrong with it or anything to be ashamed by, it's just a sexual preference! Sure it's a bit unusual, you don't see em everyday, but then again just cos it's not that common doesnt anything! We're not all rocket engineers or artists- they're rare! :)
- just be careful with anything extreme, There's stories where people get infections, end up dead/ in hospital due to extreme acts going wrong, I can't remember exactly, maybe look it up?
Have fun and indulge your imagination! :) xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): If it makes you feel better, know that masochists are often the ones in control. While it is hard to see how the person in the submissive position is in control the truth of the matter is that the submissive is the one that dictates what can and can't happen. On another note, know that your desires and feelings in regards to pain are normal (I am thinking that SM kind of behaviour is still a taboo in many parts of the world and curiously enough there are subtle SM activities that take part in bed). I suspect that what you know about masochists is something you've observed in porn or from unknown sources. I want you to know that that is not always the case.In regards to your boyfriend I suggest try to make him comfortable with the idea (this does not mean force him though). Why not take the role of the dominant, tie him, and ravish him? I am thinking that in his mind the idea of pain=pleasure does not compute well as it does with so many others. Have fun!
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 June 2013):
 Yes you are a masochist. A masochist is someone who gets sexual pleasure from pain. There are all sorts of other subtleties and subcultures of it, but in it's most basic form, yes you are a masochist.
...............................
|
