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My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him but I didn't!! I was with the other guy just to pick out a birthday gift for my boyfriend!

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 May 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 May 2012)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

So I'm 18 and my Boyfriend and I have been dating since we were 15. His birthday is coming up in about 3months and I wanted to get him something special for his birthday. And he's been wanting a guitar since forever. So I was planning on getting him one. And I have a really good friend that plays in a band so I asked him to come and help me find a pick a really good guitar. After we are some we say are goodbyes and I bought that guitar. The next day I get this very angry phone call from my boyfriend... And you guessed somebody told him that I cheated on him. So now we have been fighting for a few days and be does not believe me that I did not cheat. So yea... Help?

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (17 May 2012):

Jmtmj agony auntGot a receipt??

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (17 May 2012):

Danielepew agony auntTell the stupid that you were buying a guitar for him, and show the thing to him.

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (17 May 2012):

YouWish agony auntWho was it that told him that you cheated? That's kind of a big deal to know that, because whoever it is has a vested interest in seeing you and your boyfriend split. Obviously, it's someone that your BF holds in high esteem to believe it. Have there been suspicions regarding you and this guitar player before in the past?

So, I'm wondering why this person would have told your boyfriend this. How does it benefit this person, as most people stay out of such things unless they have much more concrete proof.

I think your intentions were pure with this guy, but this is about the APPEARANCE of impropriety. How would you have felt if he went out alone with another girl who you might have had suspicions about, he spent time alone with her without telling you, and then you get informed that he's cheating on you with her. You'd be pretty hot under the collar too, right? It would have been different if you had gone with this guy and another one of your friends, right?

You simply need to come clean. If you haven't told him why you were out because you want the guitar to be a surprise, you'd better let the cat out of the bag now, return the guitar, and come up with a plan B that doesn't involve shopping with another guy friend. You know that you didn't cheat, so you're simply going to have to apologize for the way it looked, explain that you didn't cheat, and ask him what this person who told him about this stood to benefit by making this claim.

If he refuses to believe you then, you have a guy with a trust issue, and it's better to get it out in the open, even if it means the end of your relationship. After three years, he shouldn't be this distrusting and quick to think the worst of you, so I'm wondering if there are other things afoot here. Who is this guy to you, and were you ever romantic in the past?

If you and this guitar shopper friend have ever been intimate or you've had feelings for him or he for you in the past, you should never be out alone with him while with your current BF. It disqualifies your friendship as appropriate when you're currently in another relationship.

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (17 May 2012):

Denise32 agony auntOh boy. No good deed goes unpunished, as "they" say.

Do you happen to know who told him that you cheated on him? And how would they know? Presumably that person wasn't with you when you went shopping.......

Evidently somebody has a grudge against you - either that or it might be another woman who is jealous and has designs on your bf and hopes that if he believes her lie, he'll split up with you. However, there is no way to know the source or motive of whoever told him.

I'm sorry, but fighting with him won't help. You've told him he's mistaken, but he doesn't believe you.

Maybe the best thing to do now would be to step back and not see or contact him for a few days. Hopefully this will give him a chance to cool off (you also) and realize there isn't any truth to what he's been told.

Is he generally a man who tends to be suspicious??

I do hope this gets resolved.......

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