A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend never really touches or looks at my breasts. They are small, about a 34B or so, and I have a bit of insecurity about them because I'd prefer to be bigger. Not porn-big, just... big enough to turn a few heads even when I'm not wearing a pushup bra. I notice that he only really notices them or comments on them when I am wearing a pushup bra. He says he likes them as they are but he rarely ever takes my top off or asks me to take my top off when we are having sex. Recently I took my top off during a blowjob, thinking it might excite him, but the blowjob ended up taking much longer than it usually does, which made me wonder... he couldn't even finish. Often weeks will go by without him even seeing my bare breasts. At times, I will point blank tell him that I need him to pay attention to my breasts, to touch and kiss them, and to look at them. The last time I asked him to spend some time looking at and caressing my breasts he said something like, "I did that not long ago, why do I have to do it again?"... We were alone in a bedroom and had no plans for the evening, I figured he could spend 1 or 2 minutes giving me something I desired, but he preferred not to. Generally, the only time my breasts get any attention at all is when I tell him to play with them. So, about once every 4 months or so, he pays attention to my breasts. All the other times, I have to take off my top myself, and he's rarely all that interested in them. It makes me feel just awful and unattractive. I have been thinking of perhaps getting breasts implants to increase his interest in them. Even if I wear a revealing top, or one without a bra, he never does anything. I figure if my boobs were bigger than he couldn't miss them. Maybe they would get his attention more if they were more in his face. I find it very arousing and stimulating when my breasts are played with, unfortunately when I force him to do it it's just not as arousing because I can tell that he's not all that excited by it. It feels like a chore for him, and that doesn't really feel arousing to me.The thing is, I do whatever I can to satisfy him sexually, and I enjoy doing it. But at some point it gets unbalanced and we have reached that point... probably years ago. It impacts my self-esteem, makes me feel really undesirable. I do everything I can to draw his attention to my breasts hoping that one day something will click and he'll take the initiative and go to town on them, but it hasn't happened.
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male
reader, billstack  +, writes (2 August 2019):
Hello Ladies, The reason Im on this site is my wife just told me that some 25 years ago she had a affair with our neighbor, we have been married for 50 years and met in high school What caught my attention was her great body and very nice breasts. But to get back on subject, they met twice in a motel had wine and cheese got into the shower together. she gave him some oral sex. then had intercourse. But during our talking about this affair she told me he never touched, sucked or did anything to her breasts, I couldn't believe it and it became a real sticking point to us staying together, but during counseling a women counselor explained that it isn't that unusual for some men not to show interest in a women's breast. She explained that some men see the breasts as a part of a women's body to nourish a child and not for sexual pleasures. I don't understand it nor does my wife breast play is a big part of our love making.
I found it very hard to believe what she was telling me and spent a great deal of time talking about it. The turning point was when she told us about when she was in college she dated a guy for three years and never showed interest inn her breasts, then she looked at me and said as hard as you cant believe men don't like breasts during sex, there are men out there that cant believe you get turned on by them. In closing before you worry about what happens during sex, think about when you first met a man did you really think if he would play with your breasts?? love each other because you love each other
A
female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (6 September 2011):
 I am also in the same boat as you. Unfortulately when my bf (jokingly said) that when we go to the beach, he and his friend will look at all the girls in their bikinis... and it hurt me. I sortof flipped out and said "Now you can be happy and see the girls with the big boobs!" I know he didn' mean to hurt me but it still did... I don't think he realized this. Now... He pays more attn. to my boobs. I feel guilty saying that because he wouldn't pay much attn. to them before I made it clear that I was unhappy with the way I looked... I think about getting fake ones sometimes,, but I think they look bad personally... especially when nude. You can obviously tell they are fake. For me, I work out, try to look the best I can :) & If he doesnt love me for me... It's just not worth it! I do feel for you and it does suck.... You need to try to be happy with just the way you are, cause believe me,,,, a lot of people out there look a lot worse and have other problems ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): As one poster put it: he's just not into breasts.
I have a friend that has really nice breasts (no, I'm not bi--I can just appreciate that she has large, perky breasts--ok?). She's married to a great guy and she's teased him that the only reason she fell in love with him is because he was the first man that didn't spend their first date staring at her breasts. She has mentioned that she wishes he was a little more interested, because she does miss the attention.
Because I am a woman, I can truly understand that breast action is VERY NICE. Maybe you can ask him if it would bother him if you massaged your breasts yourself during foreplay and sex (some men love that--I personally cannot do it to myself because the feeling is not the same--but you could try?).
For the record--I had bigger breasts before menopause hit me. I was very self-conscious about reuniting with my high school sweetheart because he knew my breasts at their "prime" (32 C) and I was so afraid he'd be disappointed in my "older" version (34 B)--he wasn't disappointed. Size only matters to some men.
Sorry, I keep thinking of more stuff:
Has he ever mentioned size to you? Does he lust after larger breasted women? You may be reading a whole lot more into it than there is.
Good luck--and I vote NO to surgery.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): Don't be crazy! NEVER CHANGE YOUR BODY FOR SOMEBODY ELSE!
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 You're only 22-25, who knows if this is the guy you;'re going to spend the rest of your life with. Going under the knife and permanently changing yourself for someone else is a mistake. It sounds to me like he just doesn't like breasts, period, there's nothing wrong with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): He doesn't deserve you!!!
Dump him and find a guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Sorry but you just sound like a lovely person, really great as a girlfriend also. And yet you are considering changing yourself, getting SURGERY for this guy who doesn't even care of his feelings. How he makes your confidence decrease cause he can't even give you proper attention.
You are not asking for too much, he is being selfish and like a pig. He does not deserve you at all. There are many guys who will love you for whatever size boobs you have, yes as they are now! Natural. Btw most guys prefer natural, not fakes. Not matter the size.
Please I beg you don't go under the knife for him. He is the problem, not you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): Some men just don't like breasts, honey. If a guy likes breasts, he likes them of all sizes. If he doesn't, he won't care. He probably even dislikes bigger breasts, so I sure wouldn't make them larger.
My fiance is the same way. He only touches mine because they are one of the most sensitive spots on my body and he knows I like it.. If it weren't so, he'd never even look their way.
Breasts don't sexually excite him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): I don't think he doesn't like them because they're not as big as you would like them to be, I have the impression from what you say that he's just not really bothered about breasts at all. In which case undergoing surgery to make them bigger won't alter the way he acts. Moreover, considering surgery for the sake of a boyfriend is just downright stupid in my opinion. If you want more attention on your breasts it sounds like a) your bf needs to change his behaviour or b) you need to find someone who likes boobs more. Seriously, do you really think that if you had boobs that were "more in his face" he would give them more attention? I wouldn't imagine it would make any difference at all. If anything I think it would make him even more disinterested if he has to contend with them all the time.
I think the real issue is that you have asked your bf repeatedly to pay more attention to your breasts because that's what you enjoy and he doesn't really bother to do it. That is, you have asked him to do something you like but he doesn't really care. I think you need to ask him WHY this is happening and see what he says. I would wager that he would be horrified to think that you would go through surgery just so he would pay more attention; also, that is a lot of pressure/guilt to put on someone, which is also unfair in my opinion.
If you don't get anywhere by talking to him and you still want the surgery, well, do it. But don't expect it to remedy this problem, and don't then blame your bf. I personally think wanting to go through surgery and all the risks it entails just to get boobs which are "big enough to turn a few heads even when I'm not wearing a pushup bra" is utterly stupid. But, that's only my opinion. I think the first thing you have to do is talk to your bf about how you feel and then take it from there.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (21 August 2010):
 I don't think implants are going to make a difference in his behavior. He just isn't much interested in breasts at all. I do feel a bit sorry for him as he is missing half the game.
The real reason I was attracted to your question was the fact that you are considering cosmetic surgery. It's incredibly expensive, and painful. Before you agree to go under the knife try an experiment first. Buy a good pair of fake ones. and wear them around. See how the weight feels. See if it gets you the attention that you want, and not the attention you don't want. I know they are expensive but not compared to surgery.
The other thing is to get all the facts on the surgery, especially if there is any chance of loss of sensation as a side effect. That would pretty much defeat the purpose of the whole thing.
FA
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