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My boyfriend is very rough on me regarding sex, it hurts!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 August 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *ovesickpup writes:

Hi, I have decided I'm sticking with my boyfriend, the only thing that I need help with is when me and my boyfriend have sex he is really rough and he hurts and he wants to do it all the time and I'm being serious, he wants it every day but if we do it every day it hurts even more. I have told him but he doesn't listen. What can I do cause it's starting to P me off.


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A female reader, Rawr United States +, writes (7 February 2009):

Well this is what i think you should do,tell him try at least to be a little soft

If he doesnt listen

Then tell him its time to break up

I mean you wanna feel it to and it isnt pain either

Then he'll listen and he'll probably change

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

same problem here, only difference when I see his face when I am in pain he's smirking (like he thinks either I'm screaming in pleasure or he likes to see me in pain) I think it's the latter sometimes.

God Luck

Hurt Wife

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007):

try a position that he can't be so rough in. like reverse cowgirl. any position where you are on top means that you're in control. and fight back! if he starts to hurt you, dig those nails in honey. if it doesn't make him stop, it'll at least get his attention.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007):

Leave him and get somethinmg better for yourself..get someone who loves in both in bed and out of it...My experience is that when a guy does that he doesn't care about u at all...

Sex is all about enjoyment by both parties, not just a one person issue, wherein ur bf goes into u just to discharge his daily tension...

wake up and get for ur self someone easy going...p />

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007):

Why don't you P him off, get rid of the jerk. Or you could have him use a knothold in a fence to fill his crude and rude sexual abuse of your body. If I were you, he would be history.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (15 August 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI agree with Sandman.

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (15 August 2007):

Sandman agony auntHmmm. Well, sex was designed to be pleasurable, not painful.

There are some people who wish to be hurt during sex as it turns them on even more (masochists) and there are some people who enjoy inflicting pain or discomfort on others as it turns them on too (sadist). Your BF MIGHT be a sadist. I don't know as I've got nothing else to go on. But maybe he enjoys being rough and seeing you in discomfort as it turns him on. Maybe. Just because he's being rough when having sex doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care about you. You say you've told him but did you say it in a passive manner or did you flat out tell him NO 'because I'm still sore from yesterday'.

Communication is key. Sit him down and tell him EXACTLY what is bothering you. Tell him you don't like having sex so rough. Tell him that it's not pleasurable for you anymore - especially when doing it everyday and you're still hurting from previous sexual contact. Set some boundaries on the sexual engagement - meaning how many times is good for and what you're willing to do during sex. If he still doesn't listen - then like mandy said tell him where the road is. Hopefully you two can come to an agreement on your sexual union and begin to make sex more pleasurable. but if not....then leave him alone and find a gentler, more caring partner. Perhaps you could wait on having sex until you're married. Just a thought.

Hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007):


Ok so your sticking by your man, but if you have told him that you are in pain during sex because of the way he is with you and he doesnt listen, How much does this man care for you? Im sorry I dont want to hurt you love but its just nasty and bloody selfish to hurt you in this way, plus it sounds as if he is pushing himself on you when you dont really want it, no pleasure just pain....Id be more than p*****d off sweety id tell him were the road is, You really need to think how long you can go through this as it sounds to me like he doesnt give a s**t about your feelings just his own, How does he treat you other than this? And do you really want a man that only has his own interests at heart. I really feel for you as you must love him very much please think what he is doing to you... PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, baybee-x-sparkii United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2007):

baybee-x-sparkii agony auntokay...he shouldnt be this rough with you, its harsh unfair and is obviously more than peeing you off.... tell him how you really feel...surely you can come to a comprimise? [not such hard sex...but maybe more frequent] i dont know much about your situation so its hard to say....

Good Luck

Baybee Sparkii x x x

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