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My boyfriend is isn't interested! Should I meet up with a guy who is?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

MOD NOTE: Edited for readability.

I am in a difficult situation and just would like to hear some real honest advice from other peoples perspective. I have a boyfriend and a son with him, we've been together for about 3 1/2 years now and we only have sex about once every 2-3 times a month. I believe communication is the best way to make a relationship successful, I've talked to him about the issue of us wanting to have more sex but let me just say before talking about the issue with him...

I've hinted it to him plenty of times of how we should be more intimate, in fun ways and cute ways. Obviously that didn't do it for me so it came to me to just be upfront and talk about it. Talking to him wasn't really working as well. I feel that anything I do....well I get nothing out of him. I am very calm and not to sound conceited or anything but i'd like to make things more clear to my readers, that I am a very attractive person.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years now and I think I should just also mention that we've had plenty of sex from the start of our relationship well the first 2 years.

Now that I have mention all the things I've tried doing, I have to tell you readers the outcome of my frustration. I am currently talking to someone else (this is all through phone), this someone is a friend from a couple of years before getting together with my boyfriend. He's someone I was interested in back when we use to talk before my boyfriend but have not done anything with him. I am just talking to this someone because I wanted to know if all guys ever pass on sex?!....

Let me say that asking for advice from this particular person lead on to flirting, plenty of sexual conversations and thats it so far, I am very very tempted to meet up with him but thats all me talking in my own head, I never gave him the idea to meet up or anything because i don't want it to lead on to that. I think this happened because we use to ...i guess well we were very interested with each other but never got together because he wasn't the type to be in a relationship with.

I am choosing to stay with my boyfriend because I still do care for him and he is such a great dad to our son. He loves me and I do love him too but I feel that sex is very important in a relationship, it is hurtful to have him not want to have that intimacy time together. I don't feel like i'm not a attractive person to him, I know I am and it is really nice to hear that from other men that tell me. Its wrong for me to think that way but hearing those nice things are something i'd like my boyfriend to have the energy to do and also wrong to have the idea of meeting up with someone else and it is killing me to because I am very frustrated with what is going on. I still think in the back of my head, if i should meet up with him?

Please and Thanks for advice.

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A male reader, Dr. Reality United States +, writes (13 July 2010):

You got a man who is 18-21 young and already tied down to a family. He already knows his dick got him into trouble and there is little he can do about it probably because he is getting pressure from his family to "do the right thing" by you. Kudos to you for being open and communicative but I see you get little or no response. You have given him time to respond to your needs but so far nothing is cumming your way. You need to hit him between the eyes. Boyfriend doesn't mean husband and therefore the loyalty is compromised. First step is tell him your needs are not being met. Lay it out in no uncertain terms you want sex X times per month/week/day. If he can not accommodate on to step 2. Politely tell him if he can't fulfill your needs then you will need to seek it elsewhere. Tell him you have several opportunities waiting and ask him permission to seek enjoyment in another man's arms. Explain its just platonic and only sex and you still love him. I will have to believe that after he stews with this for a few days he will start doing his job. And if not, you have the green light to get it somewhere else. Happy hunting.

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