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Is it wrong to flirt with my sensei who's twice my age?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hi i've recently started aikido and my sensei said i'm quite good (so much so that he's offered me a scholarship) but i really fancy my sensei. he's about 30 and i'm only 15. we get along brilliantly and we flirt a fair bit aswell, nothing heavy, just light hearted flirting. my friends don't share my admiration of med (his nickname) but i think he's incredible. he's the front man in a metal band, he's a 3rd dan black belt and a whole lot of other stuff. and i know nothing is going to happen because i wont let it happen. he's far too old for my as he's twice my senior. but do you think that it's wrong that we flirt a bit. he's baught me lunch before, and he also baught me a drink (no alcohol) as celebration for passing my grading. do you think i'm being too relaxed about this and that he's kinda grooming me, or do you think that it's ok that we have that sort of relationship.

i'd like to have your opinion as i don't really want to regret doing something stupid. i don't really think that theres anything wrong but my friends are saying that i have to seriously watch him and be weary of his motives. do you think thats the case?

thanks for any help

anon xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for the re-assurance :), theres not much, if any chance of us hooking up once i'm legal as for 1 he's got a longterm gf, and 2 he's almost old enough to be my dad, it would be far too wierd, and it would look poorly on med, i couldn't make him frowned on like that. it would be unfair on him. he's a great friend though, thankfully there isn't an age limit on good friends :)

thanks again for the advice

anon xx

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A female reader, england_rock_chic United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2010):

tbh you sound like you get on really well, just enjoy flirting :)

and hopefully when you're legal, if you want it to, you both might hook up :)x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i don't actively seek older mens attention, he's almost old enough to be my dad, it would feel far to wierd, but i get along well with him, theres no denying that. also he's got a girlfriend, i know as i've met her. she seems ok, quite funny. so he'd be getting his fun from her as it were. my eye is set on someone else who's about my own age and who i've known for a while.

i don't spend my free time with him, the only time we're together is aikido, and on special occasions associated with aikido (like for example i passed my grading yesterday and we went to a family pub to have a celebratory drink which he bought, mine was non alcoholic of course, and i was there when he bought it and i took it to the table so i made sure he didn't spike it, i'm not stupid, i get on with him but i don't really know him) like i said we have alot in common, and we get along well, and when it comes to people i seem to have a flirty nature and i can't see the point in deliberately changing myself just because of one guy. i've delt with worse before where they've tried spiking my drinks (i only found out because i caught him doing it) and that was when i was cautious about being me. thankyou for the advice either way :)

anon xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010):

Yes he's way too old. If I know anything about men who are old enough to reach an erection, its this...he just wants sex. Men can be pigs and he knows it much better than you that flirting with an underage girl is plain wrong. Its nice to look up to someone and admire them for their accomplishments but you shouldn't seek a much older man"s attention. Think of it like this, would you flirt with a very cute and "mature" 12 or 13 year old boy?

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