A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 18 and my boyfriend went to jail and I had sex with my ex boyfriend. He asked me and I told him everything.now he's having a problem trusting me again. What should I do to get him to trust me again
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Trust is a state of mind. It is not something a person can act upon to make trust happen. Trust takes time and trust is solely based on the 'victim' in which that trust has decayed with.
Rcn has given the clearest path of how to rebuild a connection with your lover: "You prove by your actions, not what you say, if you want him to trust you again."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Honestly and i'm sorry to say this to you: I don't think you can really expect there to ever be the same level of trust in the relationship. And since trust is defined mostly by actions alone and some by actions and words together but NEVER by only words, there are no magic words that you can say to him to make him believe, truely believe that you will not hurt him again.
If he is willing to be continue his relationship with you, then you owe him kindness, patience, genrosity. You are officially at a point where you have no right to be frustrated at him for not being able to recover his trust for you. Be patient and PROVE that you can be trusted. It will take time, a lots of it.
~SY.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Can you expect to sleep with other people and have the trust remain the same as if it never happened? Being upset and lonely, as Samii stated is still not an excuse for cheating. If I were your boyfriend, and you used those excuses, I'd end it because I wouldn't apparently be the guy for you.
If he does stay with you, trust is something that takes time to rebuild. You prove by your actions, not what you say, if you want him to trust you again. And it start off with the simple rule. You have to end all contact with the person you cheated with. Then you can work on building that trust.
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom +, writes (16 June 2009):
You can never change some ones trust for you but you can brighten up all the good things he knows you for. And tell him things like you are the only one for me make him feel special and give him all of your attention. This ya girl, peace.
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