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My boyfriend has a lump but he wont go to the doctor!

Tagged as: Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 July 2009) 13 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello Everyone,

My byfriend is 29 and he has a lump on his testicals (inside his scrotum not on the outside) and he tells me it has been there for a good few years. Its nothing you could feel froma general play but he showed me where it was the other month and he definitly has a lump.

I have asked him to go to the doctors but he is really embaressed about going.

not only is he nervous about being naked in front of a stranger but he is more scared he might get an erection while someone is poking things around.

can anyone give me advice on how i can get him there? not sure what else i can do.

it is just a little pea sized lump which i think is attached to a testicle or a vein down there and it is a hard lump. it doesn't move so it is attached and as said before it is inside the scrotum and it has never got any bigger apparently it has never grown in size.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009):

If you are saying that he has a lump on his testicles, then it is vital for him to see a doctor because it might be testicular cancer and if your boyfriend will get the cancer in time, it can be cured about 99.9% so please do all of a us a favor and get him to a doctor ASAP thank you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you everyone for your responses, i finally got him to the doctor and it turned out to be a grisly lump and nothing to worry about. but we have been told if it ever change size or shape then to get straight back down there.

i feel a lot better knowing this and now that he has been he realises there wasn't really anything to worry about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i will keep you informed.

Thanks again

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

Please let us know how it goes if you don't mind.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (27 July 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntGood luck! Good for you too. I think this now is a question of making him actually make the appointment. Can you do this for him? I mean, the NHS site said to make an appointment within 36 hours. That's not days, weeks or years. That's hours.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hello everyone,

Thank you all for your help, i was talking to him today and i have said that i would like him to get it checked out and i explained to him that as i intend on spending the rest of my life with him i want to make sure he lives a long and healthy one. and this will stop me worrying.

I have also said that if he gets the appointment with a male doctor i really cant see him having any problems at all with embaressing situations.

he seems to have listend finally and i think the fact that i told him how much i will worry is what has finally got him to agree to it. I just need to keep on at him to make the appointment now that he has said he will do it lol.

Thank you again everyone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

Tell him that you would be with him in the room and he could focus on you instead of worrying about what the doctor is doing.

If he gets erection, it's normal. I've had a breast exam done on me and it aroused me, but it was best that I got them checked then no check at all.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

Make the appointment yourself without asking him, then argue with him about it.

I has a lump on my testicle, and it took me a couple of months before I got up the courage to go to the doctor. Luckily it turned out to be an inflammation and was fairly easily treatable.

Yes, waiting to see the urologist is a little embarrassing, but strangely enough when you're standing there with your tackle out, and a specialist is squeezing your nuts, it feels no more embarrassing than a regular examination (even with the nurse casually wandering in to do a bit of filing - there's little consideration given to privacy of the patient in Eastern Europe).

Later I talked to another urologist who's married to a colleague of mine about how embarrassing it was. He told me that the fear of getting a hard on during an examination is one of the most common reasons that men won't go for check ups, but in over 15 years of practice none of his patients had ever got an erection during an examination.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (27 July 2009):

TasteofIndia agony auntTo the doctor! Immediately! Drag him there kicking and screaming if necessary. And as for his fear of the doctor, remind him that those doctors have seen EVERYTHING and many things much worse than your boyfriend! So he needs to stop being silly and take his health much more seriously. His fear of embarrassment could really dim to a much more serious, perhaps fatal disease. No more messing around, to the doctors ASAP!

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (27 July 2009):

I have two words: Lance Armstrong... Get your BF to the Doctor PRONTO... this could be serious, but getting these things diagnosed quickly can make a HUGE difference.

PS: If the reference doesn't mean anything to you, check out his wikipedia page... and I'm not taking about biking...

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (27 July 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntOkay, don't panic, but honestly, your boyfriend needs to get seen by a doctor PRONTO.

I ran the NHS mens sexual health symptom checker with what you've described, and it said to get an appointment with the GP within 36 hours. I am not kidding.

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/zone.aspx?zonename=HealthCheckers_Zone (you'll have to copy/paste that entire url into the browser)

Don't mess around with this. He's risking his life, his fertility, his future well-being because he's embarassed. That's idiotic, and you know it. He knows it too, he's just scared. Get him the help he needs ASAP.

Sorry for the scary message but do not mess about with this!!!!

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (27 July 2009):

GrimmReality agony auntHe is scared it's something serious and he is figuring that since its been there and his nuts havent fallen off that he is good...He isnt. It could be any number of testicular problems. Your boyfriend has got his head in the sand.

He needs to see a doctor.

If all else fails, wait til he's asleep and then gently tickle his sack with a hunting knife and when he wakes up, tell him that his balls are going to the doctor whether he likes it or not.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

Well he should take to consideration that if he will be as nervous and uncomfortable as he thinks he will be, it's pretty unlikely he'll get an erection. Isn't that right men? I don't have the facts but that's what i've heard. Also, it's usually cold in doctors' offices which i think also decreases the risk of an erection. He really just simply needs to get over it. Doctors have seen everything and if he does get hard, i'm sure it will not be shocking.

If this won't convince, then.. *sigh* it seems you'll have no choice but to strap up all his legs and arms, take away his pants, tie him to the top of your car and force him to go. Goodluck, and for real.. i hope that appointent goes well.

~Sy.

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