A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I really cannot understand why guys get so Jealous ..But this has been a Really serious problem . My work as an Exotic Dancer pays very well , and is a Fun way to live life , Its all harmless fun . Yet my boyfriend is constantly trying to get me to Quit !! He says it makes him Crazy that I am making money from turning other Guys on .But look , I go home to him every night !! Yes the guys get really turned on and excited during a personal dance ..But thats just natural . How do others think I can approach this problem ? for it really is just his own Jealousy ..Any other girls had this problem ?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Usually these types of situations end up like this. Only a few small handful of guys can deal with their girlfriends having a profession like this.
Let's face it, it is every guy's fantasy of having a hot girlfriend who also doubles as an exotic dancer. Unfortunately, in reality it can lead to a lot of jealously.
Your job is pretty simple: to turn guys on. Guys pay you to see you dance and act in a suggestive way that hints that possibly they would have a chance with you (and you sell the image that you are turned on by them). While in reality that isn't the case, you have to admit, that is what guys are paying for: a fantasy and to get sexually turned on by seeing parts of you that would normally be off-limits.
And there's the rub.
You are selling what you would normally be just for your boyfriend's pleasure to the highest bidder. Granted, he probably knew this going into the relationship but in reality he fears you are going to find a guy "hotter" than him and give yourself away to that person.
Ultimately, there are only two ways this is going to end up. You'll have to quit dancing or break up and I suspect if you talk to your fellow dancers most of them have run into the exact same problem with their significant others.
The choice is yours to make however, but do understand that his feelings and fears are at least justifiable.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 April 2012):
 Were you a dancer when you two met? And he didn't mind dating you in the beginning, but now it bothers him?
I can see why he gets jealous,I would actually find it a little off putting if he didn't. However, if you did this BEFORE you two got serious, and he KNEW this is what you do, I don't think he is being fair about it.
What can you do? I'm not sure, but I would talk about boundaries, and trust with him.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Is this temporary or is this your career?
Were you honest about your chosen profession before you two started dating? If so then he has no reason to complain about you dancing. Point this out to him. Do you two live together and your income pays majority of the bills? If so, point it out to him.
Now if you weren't so honest about it, then I can see where he would be trying to get you to quit. However, it does stem from insecurities that you're going to do more with these men.
Bottom line is that if he is going to be with you, then he has to accept you as you are. Exotic dancer and all.
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