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anonymous
writes: i am 16 and never been drunk. do people know what they are doing when they are drunk? cos my bf cheated on me while he was drunk - one of his mates told me. he said he was SO drunk but he got off with this girl and i dont know if he knew what he was doing. he made the move on her.
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female
reader, Countrygirl226  +, writes (2 October 2008):
Hey ive been there.and right now you feel like hell like what you thought was love just came back and kicked your butt.and now you ask yourself what now?where do i go.and how do i get past this.take time to be by your self and find out who you are.dont just take him back and forgive him just because you dont want to be alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): heya! im 16 years old n ive done the same thing ur boyfriend has done in a prviouse relationship, and i seriosuly regretted. i was completly drunk in an almost paralletic state..yes i shouldnt blame alcohol however, i can hardly rememba it! i feel alcohol makes you do things you wouldnt normally do, it affects your personality.Alcohol should not be used as an excuse be sure he doesnt abuse this, but i thought u should know well i feel alcohol does seriously affect your knowing of what your doing..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006): I just had the same thing happen to me this last saturday... While i was gone at a house party with some friends (he had refused to come saying he was tired) my bf went to a club with a girl he knew and they ended up kissing (she made the move...he didn't stop her)and dancing...and him going back to her place to "watch some TV" 'till after dawn had come. he has always been honest to me and told me the first thing the next morning. i woul'dn't talk to him. That night i called him...prepared to forgive him and try and give our relashionship a go....He told me i deserved far better than him...he broke up with me..you see....if he really loves you...he'll make sure you don't get hurt again(by him that is) this was hard for me to accept because it meant that he didn't truly love me anymore...it was the attachment that had kept him with me...but after talking it out(which i believe is VERY important if you plan on staying friends with someone)i forgave him...but i'm not going BACK to him...he will soon be dating this girl...but has agreed to give me some time to get my feelings strait before doing so. we will stay good friends, because it's a shame to throw so many good times out the window because of such a stupid thing:-)so my advice to you is...You deserve better...You don't hurt the person you truely love on purpose! you should forgive him...because forgiveness is the only way you will be free of the hurt. i found that reading lots of forgiveness quotes help speed the process...and heal the broken heart. I agree with Bonym and DrPsych, alcohol will not take away the desire that is already there."I will permit no man narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him"- Booker T. Washington "When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future"- unknown;) good luck and don't beat yourself up...everything ALWAYS has a way of working out for our best...whether it be the way we want it to be or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): I agree with the others... if he was SO drunk he wouldn't have been able to come on to another girl. Alcohol removes inhibitions, it doesn't make you do something you don't want to do.
Personally I think saying "Oh, I was drunk" like it's some kind of justifiable excuse is just an insult to your intelligence. They are blaming alcohol on something that was their fault.
Look at the legal system in this country, it would agree. If you drink and drive, and kill someone, you arn't let off because you are drunk. You are still responsible for your actions.
You can find a person that will never make these "mistakes" whilst drunk. If he cared about you, he would have thought about you when he was drunk, he wouldn't have gone with someone else.
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reader, lisa_01  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 People dont know what they are doing when they are drunk but they do know what is happening before they get drunk, it was your bf's choice to drink that much and it was his choice to be at that place and around those people when he decided to get drunk, he could have easily restricted his alchole intake and could have had a party with you and a selected lot of friends instead he picked to be at the place and that time with questionable people, he knew the possibilty of that happening yet he took the risk, he took that risk and look what happen, if he really gave a crap about you he would not be going off to gatherings where he would be getting drunk and being tempted by other females, he knows whats going on at these places ,thats why he went. i dont know why some people waste there time with men who treat them like crap.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2006): Alcohol can make anyone 'brave'. However the fact is, your bf got drunk at a party. I know many youths... Correction. I know many people get drunk cuz they like the feeling of being buzzed and being 'brave', but it was no excuse to be so irresponsible. Could he not have drank so much?
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reader, bonym  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 My dear whe you are drunk you may do the odd silly thing but alcohol is such that lose your inhibitions so for example when a person is drunk they may blab out a top secret because they have lost all sense of their inhibitions and what perhpas should have been a secret because their brain is so intoxicated, they forget and act on impulse. The simple answer my dear is this, if say for example whenever someone got drunk they had sex with or kissed another person we would have a serious problem, so when some people are drunk they dont do things like sleep with someone else, but if the desire is already there, or theurge is there when you are drunk you are more likely to act in a way in which you wouldnt normally do so. But this is no excuse for cheating on you. The fact is, whether he was drunk or not, if he came onto her, then he had the desire to do so anyway, alcohol just helped the process. My dear, you deserve far better. All the best. xXx
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reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 May 2006):
 The effect that alcohol has on the body is to relax you and disinhibit you - that is why adults drink at parties etc (to allow them to socialise with other people). It does not stop you being yourself at the end of the day. I always laugh when people say 'oh I did this etc when I was drunk' as if they didn't know. Alcohol may make you more likely to do silly things but it doesn't stop you being accountable for your actions. I am a firm believer that what people do when they are drunk is how they would act everyday if they werent bound by social convention and obligations and cowardice. Your boyfriend may use alcohol as an 'excuse' for cheating but a martian didn't come down and kidnap his brain or his other brain ;-) - alcohol may have dulled his senses a little, and made him a little more brave about snogging another girl but at the end of the day he still cheated on you making him unfaithful. Don't make excuses for him because he wasn't SO drunk...if he was SO drunk he would have been passed out on the floor vomiting and not locked onto someone else's lips (which takes significant motor control!). Sorry to be so harsh but alcohol is over-rated as an excuse to do anything you like. Find someone who treats you really nice :-)
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